Wow, I'm sorry for that. What a mess. I am also guessing she needed or wanted money and obviously she was trying to bully it out of Dad. I personally was cheering for him for NOT waking you up to a rash of abuse. Your husband loves you. You are lucky he cares...that will really help you.
I have a few suggestions when this nonsense happens as I have had it also happen. Difficult Child can call me ten times in a row just because he wants me to answer the phone. What I now do when that happens is stick my cell in a drawer in another room and just ignore it. If you have a landline, you can take it off the hook. Your husband does not need to subject himself to that sort of abuse.
I have learned not to give in to emotional blackmail. Emotional blackmail is "I will never talk to you again if_______________." Now this was a hard one to do. When it's your kid, no matter how vile they are as people, we love them and we want to talk to them. However, I became very good at sticking to my guns and would just respond to the threat, "Call me anytime you like, when you are calmer." If he then said, "That will be never" I calmly stated, "I can't control you. Look, we need some space from each other. I'm going now." I'd gently hang up and hide the phone. (He has never stopped calling me).
As for the "why" of it, these particular young men and women make no sense so I gave up trying to figure out why. All I can come up with is that they tend to think abnormally so I should expect an abnormal reaction. Accepting that this is the case has helped me A LOT.
I am sorry you are going through this. Hang in there. We are with you.
