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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 684964" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>If he has Aspergers it IS an excuse. It's a serious disability on the autism spectrum and he'd qualify for many adult supports, including help to find a job and independent living. Autism of any kind isn't an excuse. It is a legitimate reason why some adult children can't launch or be independent without supports.</p><p>It is like telling somebody in a wheelchair that they are using their paralysis as a reason not to get up and walk. Yes, it is the same thing</p><p></p><p>A neurological disability can explain puzzling behavior and can be improved upon. Asders often do not age at the same rate as their peers, have low frustration levels, and don't know how to make friends. Or keep friends they do make. Untreated, they can remain clueless, become very depressed and hopeless, and can turn to substance abuse and other destructive behaviors to try to fit in anywhere. With anyonr. Usually life's losers are attracted to others who struggle. Some are addicts.</p><p></p><p>I am confused as to why such a diagnosis would not make you happy. It would explain a lot and there really are good resources out there. Trying to make a differently wired adult be like a typical adult is impossible for the adult, frustrating, depressing, and doesn't work. I speak as one who was not typical but whose parents wanted me to be.</p><p></p><p>Of course I could not do it and my mother died thinking my only problem was that I didn't try hard, but it was so untrue, although it probably looked that way. It broke my heart, almost my spirit.</p><p></p><p>Your son has Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) traits. It's up to you (and him) to decide to or not to pursue it further. He is not doing drugs, but he can't launch alone. Is it not possibly beneficial to have extensive testing to see if there is a neurological reason for this? Could be a path to deserved peace for you and your lovely husband and perhaps your precious son as well. I like to leave no stone unturned.</p><p>I also really like you and Jabber and just hate to see you too struggling, as well as your son who does not sound like a terrible young man. He sounds trapped, as though he doesn't know how to launch. Major anxiety too? That is also an Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) trait.</p><p></p><p>Of course you have my wholehearted support whatever you feel is best. Just flush my post if you find it useless. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /> Use what you may like, destroy the rest. I know he is VERY trying, regardless of why. A neuropsyc usually catches every glitch.</p><p>I</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 684964, member: 1550"] If he has Aspergers it IS an excuse. It's a serious disability on the autism spectrum and he'd qualify for many adult supports, including help to find a job and independent living. Autism of any kind isn't an excuse. It is a legitimate reason why some adult children can't launch or be independent without supports. It is like telling somebody in a wheelchair that they are using their paralysis as a reason not to get up and walk. Yes, it is the same thing A neurological disability can explain puzzling behavior and can be improved upon. Asders often do not age at the same rate as their peers, have low frustration levels, and don't know how to make friends. Or keep friends they do make. Untreated, they can remain clueless, become very depressed and hopeless, and can turn to substance abuse and other destructive behaviors to try to fit in anywhere. With anyonr. Usually life's losers are attracted to others who struggle. Some are addicts. I am confused as to why such a diagnosis would not make you happy. It would explain a lot and there really are good resources out there. Trying to make a differently wired adult be like a typical adult is impossible for the adult, frustrating, depressing, and doesn't work. I speak as one who was not typical but whose parents wanted me to be. Of course I could not do it and my mother died thinking my only problem was that I didn't try hard, but it was so untrue, although it probably looked that way. It broke my heart, almost my spirit. Your son has Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) traits. It's up to you (and him) to decide to or not to pursue it further. He is not doing drugs, but he can't launch alone. Is it not possibly beneficial to have extensive testing to see if there is a neurological reason for this? Could be a path to deserved peace for you and your lovely husband and perhaps your precious son as well. I like to leave no stone unturned. I also really like you and Jabber and just hate to see you too struggling, as well as your son who does not sound like a terrible young man. He sounds trapped, as though he doesn't know how to launch. Major anxiety too? That is also an Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) trait. Of course you have my wholehearted support whatever you feel is best. Just flush my post if you find it useless. ;) Use what you may like, destroy the rest. I know he is VERY trying, regardless of why. A neuropsyc usually catches every glitch. I [/QUOTE]
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