Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
It was UGLY...
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 503693" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>Thanks everyone....</p><p>IC- that would be wonderful, except the school wont let non school employees work on their school grounds. We have this problem with people who use ABA therapists and then want them in the schools....If the school wont hire them then no way. I did bring up again that their data said that he did well with the behavioral team aide.. well they said they had her come and observe the other aides and she told them that they did nothing wrong, she would have done the same. They totally did not get (and our psychiatric pointed out) that a different person is a different person. He has a history for three years of these two aides being frustrated with him, he knows they dont like working with him. They never smile and they do NOT (they admitted this) have ideas to use when novel things come along like she does. But it is convenient to ignore their own data etc. I did say, why can't we hire an aide like we did for the summer who knows his program. Someone new to Q but who is a true behavioral aide??? I got the bobble head nods..... Law advocate and psychologist (ours) said that really, we can do this new fba, get ideas in place, etc... and the fact is that ever since the medication reaction and he told off the principal, they have had an agenda to get rid of him. I didn't want to sound paranoid but they both said it. They also said that the fact that the meetings have totally changed in format...they used to problem solve and talk about what he was doing well... now, they say like a courtesy sentence about something he did in class ONE day and then they all of the... each and every one had notebooks with pages of every single word that he says and every single action. I was there last Tues and listened to a bunch of kids talking about kicking eachother's A55es and ditching the b*****ing sub because they would never know etc etc... but they dont have an aide sitting by them and Q has no kids to do that kind of stupid talk with. Gets really frustrating.</p><p></p><p>Marg, thanks for the thoughtful response. To help paint the picture, Q has NEVER been mainstreamed beyond a token class like art or music or shop or computer and it was only to be with typical peers because he actually DOES imitate them. Now, certainly he does not learn how to regulate ongoing interactions and he does not develop improved skills but his behavior on every assessment and any data collected shows a markedly improved ability to sit, attend, ask a question once in a while and do work. He certainly can't keep up academically so this is not an option for most classes. So, he gets his peer time at lunch, in the halls, at parties, etc. He gets to then be with our neighborhood kids instead of always being left out. It resulted in his actually having kids come to our door and ask to play with him since last summer. He asks for it and tells me he is lonely because he never gets to see any kids anymore. The kids in his Special Education class are the ones saying the inappropriate words, humming, flapping hands, over-reacting to his rule infractions, in short, being their typical autistic selves.... but it makes Q NUTS. so, he asks for ear plugs and the auditory trainer has helped filter them out some. His scores on the work he is doing is actually good (for him) since the auditory trainer was started.</p><p></p><p>You are 100% correct that people who dont know him see him as a 15 yr old especially because he does not sound like a child who is delayed at first. You have to really hear him talk about novel things, not just short answers to figure it out. He is great at using non specifics.... do you think that thing that was there could be this one too??? </p><p></p><p>I have been looking for alternative schools since he was in second grade. Every time I find something that works, it changes, leaves or just doesn't work out. This district was great for us for 4.5 years. It has been since the middle of last years with these EA's who got it in their heads that he is saying and doing things IN their EXPERT opinions, on purpose... but any time they said what they said, no one educated them until I came in with the articles, dr explanations and the Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) doctor we pay to come to each and every meeting.</p><p></p><p>I can't take him out on homebound without a doctor order. Our district resists homebound as much as possible. If I do home schooling, I will have to fight to get services for him again if I can't handle it (and I can tell you I can't... we would kill each other, though I can be a part of it and take him places and supervise therapies etc... I can do that)</p><p></p><p>IF I just take him out and do nothing, then they will press charges for child neglect.</p><p></p><p>when he talked of the guns etc... he was playing the what if game because the way he has conversations with people is to ask questions. SO he says, what if Osama bin Laden was here, coudl I beat him? what if I had a gun, could I shoot him? I wish I could get Boo D. (dead hockey player) to come and beat people up for me, do you think he could come back and get people for me? If the kids wont play with me and I had a knife would they be scared and have to play with me? </p><p></p><p>My response when he gets on a roll like that (and it can be about any topic not just violence he does this with what businesses in the city are open or closed and if they are in other towns and how far can you walk there and on and on etc.) Is Q I dont want to talk nonsense... can we talk about something else and he is fine with that. This went on and on because they were probing and answering.. OH Q you dont want to say that (she told us all how she responded, even though we all said as part of his bip we would engage him, not ignore but not continue it)... anyway... the fact is, it was no threats.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Thinking of his future and if people would misunderstand that... he is not ever with any other kids without an Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) staff or me or a relative. He has in his county plan that for that very reason, that he can be seen as provoking etc. he could easily talk himself into getting beat up, or someone could misunderstand him etc... </p><p>It is well documented that he needs constant line of sight and ear shot supervision.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Quin has been in Special Education social skills training for his whole life. Private groups and public school. He constantly got kicked out of the school social skills groups for kids with autism because they were beyond his skill levels... It makes me crazy when people use canned social skill programs instead of designing programs to teh IEP goals (which I have designed and done with social workers and Occupational Therapist (OT)'s my whole career and I would be embarassed to tell a parent that I had kicked a kid out of a group that he is in because he doesn't have the skills we are working on... HUH??? yeah makes a lot of sense)</p><p></p><p>Recently HIS dream has been to be with the neighborhood kids and they ahve been kind. I told them all he has autism and they have gone out of their way (we are talking no less than 12 kids) and he did amazing all summer... and early into the fall. He swam and played with them every single day. We had glitches and they were patient and we worked on the skills because he wanted it. He never made such progress in special education. It turned around when he started horse back riding therapy. He learned some kind of something that helped this along... </p><p></p><p>It all seems ruined now.... he is not allowed to be with Special Education or reg ed kids at all. but when he goes down the hall his neighborhood friends do call out to him and they have still seen him here (but they are not out much as it is cold)</p><p></p><p></p><p>So, I 100% agree, and have said for a long time... he needs to not be in that setting as things keep going this way but we have yet to find an alternative. I said I am willing to go see their program that they only a few months ago said we would never need to go see because it is not appropriate for him. Seems they have and ONE kid who has been able to leave it eventually and isn't that great??? Also seems that it might be appropriate now, or they are going to sell it that way just to make the principal happy. This is the school where the kid tore down things off the wall when the DAPE teacher went to observe and she thought how they handled him was great. I said that is great for Q...IF he was the one who tore things down... but he doesn't do that stuff... if he sees it he WILL. </p><p></p><p>so I feel so stuck. I have worked in Special Education in this state for many years. I know most of the charter programs etc. There is a brand new school, being built from teh ground up for kids like Q but it is not in our district. Our district would not pay to send him unless he fails somewhere here first.... and our private team said they will fight against that... for him to have to change twice, not ok. I am unwilling for him to learn new behaviors to show he can't stay there and then risk he wont be able to go anywhere else because of the new and worsened behaviors he has developed. It is not my theory.. it has happened several times in his life already. </p><p></p><p>I agree it is time for a change. What that change is, I guess we will have to see over the next couple of weeks.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 503693, member: 12886"] Thanks everyone.... IC- that would be wonderful, except the school wont let non school employees work on their school grounds. We have this problem with people who use ABA therapists and then want them in the schools....If the school wont hire them then no way. I did bring up again that their data said that he did well with the behavioral team aide.. well they said they had her come and observe the other aides and she told them that they did nothing wrong, she would have done the same. They totally did not get (and our psychiatric pointed out) that a different person is a different person. He has a history for three years of these two aides being frustrated with him, he knows they dont like working with him. They never smile and they do NOT (they admitted this) have ideas to use when novel things come along like she does. But it is convenient to ignore their own data etc. I did say, why can't we hire an aide like we did for the summer who knows his program. Someone new to Q but who is a true behavioral aide??? I got the bobble head nods..... Law advocate and psychologist (ours) said that really, we can do this new fba, get ideas in place, etc... and the fact is that ever since the medication reaction and he told off the principal, they have had an agenda to get rid of him. I didn't want to sound paranoid but they both said it. They also said that the fact that the meetings have totally changed in format...they used to problem solve and talk about what he was doing well... now, they say like a courtesy sentence about something he did in class ONE day and then they all of the... each and every one had notebooks with pages of every single word that he says and every single action. I was there last Tues and listened to a bunch of kids talking about kicking eachother's A55es and ditching the b*****ing sub because they would never know etc etc... but they dont have an aide sitting by them and Q has no kids to do that kind of stupid talk with. Gets really frustrating. Marg, thanks for the thoughtful response. To help paint the picture, Q has NEVER been mainstreamed beyond a token class like art or music or shop or computer and it was only to be with typical peers because he actually DOES imitate them. Now, certainly he does not learn how to regulate ongoing interactions and he does not develop improved skills but his behavior on every assessment and any data collected shows a markedly improved ability to sit, attend, ask a question once in a while and do work. He certainly can't keep up academically so this is not an option for most classes. So, he gets his peer time at lunch, in the halls, at parties, etc. He gets to then be with our neighborhood kids instead of always being left out. It resulted in his actually having kids come to our door and ask to play with him since last summer. He asks for it and tells me he is lonely because he never gets to see any kids anymore. The kids in his Special Education class are the ones saying the inappropriate words, humming, flapping hands, over-reacting to his rule infractions, in short, being their typical autistic selves.... but it makes Q NUTS. so, he asks for ear plugs and the auditory trainer has helped filter them out some. His scores on the work he is doing is actually good (for him) since the auditory trainer was started. You are 100% correct that people who dont know him see him as a 15 yr old especially because he does not sound like a child who is delayed at first. You have to really hear him talk about novel things, not just short answers to figure it out. He is great at using non specifics.... do you think that thing that was there could be this one too??? I have been looking for alternative schools since he was in second grade. Every time I find something that works, it changes, leaves or just doesn't work out. This district was great for us for 4.5 years. It has been since the middle of last years with these EA's who got it in their heads that he is saying and doing things IN their EXPERT opinions, on purpose... but any time they said what they said, no one educated them until I came in with the articles, dr explanations and the Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) doctor we pay to come to each and every meeting. I can't take him out on homebound without a doctor order. Our district resists homebound as much as possible. If I do home schooling, I will have to fight to get services for him again if I can't handle it (and I can tell you I can't... we would kill each other, though I can be a part of it and take him places and supervise therapies etc... I can do that) IF I just take him out and do nothing, then they will press charges for child neglect. when he talked of the guns etc... he was playing the what if game because the way he has conversations with people is to ask questions. SO he says, what if Osama bin Laden was here, coudl I beat him? what if I had a gun, could I shoot him? I wish I could get Boo D. (dead hockey player) to come and beat people up for me, do you think he could come back and get people for me? If the kids wont play with me and I had a knife would they be scared and have to play with me? My response when he gets on a roll like that (and it can be about any topic not just violence he does this with what businesses in the city are open or closed and if they are in other towns and how far can you walk there and on and on etc.) Is Q I dont want to talk nonsense... can we talk about something else and he is fine with that. This went on and on because they were probing and answering.. OH Q you dont want to say that (she told us all how she responded, even though we all said as part of his bip we would engage him, not ignore but not continue it)... anyway... the fact is, it was no threats. Thinking of his future and if people would misunderstand that... he is not ever with any other kids without an Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) staff or me or a relative. He has in his county plan that for that very reason, that he can be seen as provoking etc. he could easily talk himself into getting beat up, or someone could misunderstand him etc... It is well documented that he needs constant line of sight and ear shot supervision. Quin has been in Special Education social skills training for his whole life. Private groups and public school. He constantly got kicked out of the school social skills groups for kids with autism because they were beyond his skill levels... It makes me crazy when people use canned social skill programs instead of designing programs to teh IEP goals (which I have designed and done with social workers and Occupational Therapist (OT)'s my whole career and I would be embarassed to tell a parent that I had kicked a kid out of a group that he is in because he doesn't have the skills we are working on... HUH??? yeah makes a lot of sense) Recently HIS dream has been to be with the neighborhood kids and they ahve been kind. I told them all he has autism and they have gone out of their way (we are talking no less than 12 kids) and he did amazing all summer... and early into the fall. He swam and played with them every single day. We had glitches and they were patient and we worked on the skills because he wanted it. He never made such progress in special education. It turned around when he started horse back riding therapy. He learned some kind of something that helped this along... It all seems ruined now.... he is not allowed to be with Special Education or reg ed kids at all. but when he goes down the hall his neighborhood friends do call out to him and they have still seen him here (but they are not out much as it is cold) So, I 100% agree, and have said for a long time... he needs to not be in that setting as things keep going this way but we have yet to find an alternative. I said I am willing to go see their program that they only a few months ago said we would never need to go see because it is not appropriate for him. Seems they have and ONE kid who has been able to leave it eventually and isn't that great??? Also seems that it might be appropriate now, or they are going to sell it that way just to make the principal happy. This is the school where the kid tore down things off the wall when the DAPE teacher went to observe and she thought how they handled him was great. I said that is great for Q...IF he was the one who tore things down... but he doesn't do that stuff... if he sees it he WILL. so I feel so stuck. I have worked in Special Education in this state for many years. I know most of the charter programs etc. There is a brand new school, being built from teh ground up for kids like Q but it is not in our district. Our district would not pay to send him unless he fails somewhere here first.... and our private team said they will fight against that... for him to have to change twice, not ok. I am unwilling for him to learn new behaviors to show he can't stay there and then risk he wont be able to go anywhere else because of the new and worsened behaviors he has developed. It is not my theory.. it has happened several times in his life already. I agree it is time for a change. What that change is, I guess we will have to see over the next couple of weeks. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
It was UGLY...
Top