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<blockquote data-quote="Gran2Angels" data-source="post: 599179" data-attributes="member: 8951"><p>Recovering, </p><p></p><p>Our stories are very similar. I know I have to deal with the anger. My anger is boiling over at this point. It's been stewing and simmering hard for the past three-four years. It has changed me and I want to somehow move past it and let it go.</p><p></p><p>You had suggested last week about the different types of meetings. I have tried al-anon. My town in very small and the group was small. I never felt very welcomed or that it was a fit. Per your suggestion last week I did look up the NAMI website and found out there is a meeting here on the first Thursday of the month. July lands on July 4th this year. I called the contact number listed to see if it is to be held or possibly rescheduled for another day. So far I haven't gotten a call back. My son said he would watch the kids will I go. </p><p></p><p>I know I need to network more. I feel like I have been in a whirlwind this entire year. So many doctor visits, lawyer, and all those dental visits. It is starting to slow down so I will certainly take your advise and go to the social service and see what's available. I never thought about the parenting classes or other support classes they might offer. I really would be interested in that. I guess I have a very real but hidden fear I might mess them up. I know they have a lot to overcome. It's not just with their mother. Their father is in jail and facing trial in August. The trial will be a big deal in our small town. I dread it so much. And it turns out, the trial starts on the first day of school. So they will start school with their father in the headlines. If convicted they will be well into adulthood before he is released. They have been through so much. I worry it is all too much for them to have to live here and bear.</p><p></p><p>I would like to start the kids in counseling as well. Any suggestions on this would be appreciated too. They have changed so much since I have had them full time, for the better. My granddaughter was constantly in trouble at school or having bad attitudes at home, school and play before. Now she is very different and almost easy going. If she is around her mother the attitude comes back and I am wondering if it is anger or just habit. Not sure. </p><p></p><p> I just think they could use counseling to process all that is going on. I worry they feel abandoned by their parents. We talk about it. They know dad is in jail and it is what it is. Although I am pretty sure they do not understand the seriousness of what his time could be, or of his suspected crime for that matter. I am not sure how to address it with them. They really don't want to talk about it. As far as their mom, they know that she is "out of sorts" (that's what we call it) and it is not their fault or about them. I really think they accept this. I have told them their entire lives that it his something within her, from before they were born even and nothing about them or they have done. </p><p></p><p>I worry sometimes about the future. Mostly I am just glad they can have one, but it is all still a concern. I strongly want them to know they can be happy and not let others rob their joy or what they can be. I want very badly for them to not to feel like victims. I want to help them to go forward in peace and focus on themselves and not the bad choices of their parents. </p><p></p><p>To everyone that has gone through this and is taking the time to share with me and others what you have learned, what has worked, and your friendship or for me, companionship in this lonely walk, I just value you all so very much.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Gran2Angels, post: 599179, member: 8951"] Recovering, Our stories are very similar. I know I have to deal with the anger. My anger is boiling over at this point. It's been stewing and simmering hard for the past three-four years. It has changed me and I want to somehow move past it and let it go. You had suggested last week about the different types of meetings. I have tried al-anon. My town in very small and the group was small. I never felt very welcomed or that it was a fit. Per your suggestion last week I did look up the NAMI website and found out there is a meeting here on the first Thursday of the month. July lands on July 4th this year. I called the contact number listed to see if it is to be held or possibly rescheduled for another day. So far I haven't gotten a call back. My son said he would watch the kids will I go. I know I need to network more. I feel like I have been in a whirlwind this entire year. So many doctor visits, lawyer, and all those dental visits. It is starting to slow down so I will certainly take your advise and go to the social service and see what's available. I never thought about the parenting classes or other support classes they might offer. I really would be interested in that. I guess I have a very real but hidden fear I might mess them up. I know they have a lot to overcome. It's not just with their mother. Their father is in jail and facing trial in August. The trial will be a big deal in our small town. I dread it so much. And it turns out, the trial starts on the first day of school. So they will start school with their father in the headlines. If convicted they will be well into adulthood before he is released. They have been through so much. I worry it is all too much for them to have to live here and bear. I would like to start the kids in counseling as well. Any suggestions on this would be appreciated too. They have changed so much since I have had them full time, for the better. My granddaughter was constantly in trouble at school or having bad attitudes at home, school and play before. Now she is very different and almost easy going. If she is around her mother the attitude comes back and I am wondering if it is anger or just habit. Not sure. I just think they could use counseling to process all that is going on. I worry they feel abandoned by their parents. We talk about it. They know dad is in jail and it is what it is. Although I am pretty sure they do not understand the seriousness of what his time could be, or of his suspected crime for that matter. I am not sure how to address it with them. They really don't want to talk about it. As far as their mom, they know that she is "out of sorts" (that's what we call it) and it is not their fault or about them. I really think they accept this. I have told them their entire lives that it his something within her, from before they were born even and nothing about them or they have done. I worry sometimes about the future. Mostly I am just glad they can have one, but it is all still a concern. I strongly want them to know they can be happy and not let others rob their joy or what they can be. I want very badly for them to not to feel like victims. I want to help them to go forward in peace and focus on themselves and not the bad choices of their parents. To everyone that has gone through this and is taking the time to share with me and others what you have learned, what has worked, and your friendship or for me, companionship in this lonely walk, I just value you all so very much. [/QUOTE]
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