Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
It's Not Always the difficult children....
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Fran" data-source="post: 411944" data-attributes="member: 3"><p>Hound dog, I think you are right about going part time. It doesn't have to be all or nothing. Isn't there more value to one of the boys seeing their mom at a little league baseball game smiling proudly? </p><p>My boys were getting way too much because I grew up working poor and wanted their eyes to sparkle Christmas morning. By the time difficult child was 5 I saw what a horrible thing I was doing to my son's to make some need of mine their downfall. Is there nothing worse than an adult who doesn't work for something? Why would a kid work for something if he has everything. Christmas is limited to one large item and one small item. Anything else is gravy. They actually came to like it that way. </p><p>Maybe the family should make her pay daycare fees. If she doesn't like them, she may realize that financially it's better to work part time. I know she loves her kids and we all want to give our kids the opportunities we didn't have but the wise thing to do is ask "who does it serve?' to over indulge the kids, or to work to the point being an absent parent. </p><p>Being a stay at home mom is hard work and not everyone is cut out for it but I know no one is cut out to be a good mom if they are exhausted to the brink of collapse. </p><p>I understand that she doesn't want the type of home where her kids see dad as unproductive and miserable but the kids see mom as being miserable and scary because she has this distorted idea of what the kids really need. </p><p>Part time work, making her pay daycare rates and a calm conversation may help her to be a success in the mommy dept. </p><p>She is being pushed by the demon of failure. She just has to identify what is failure to her? What is success? Maybe it will help her to reflect on what she is doing. No one burns the candle at both ends and will themselves to continue to do it. Not successes that's for sure. </p><p>She has to find the balance between financial stability(which is important vs over indulging) and giving her children what they need. What memories are the kids going to have of growing up? </p><p>It's always a worry to see one of our kids struggling especially easy child's. It always throws me for a loop when easy child seems out of whack.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fran, post: 411944, member: 3"] Hound dog, I think you are right about going part time. It doesn't have to be all or nothing. Isn't there more value to one of the boys seeing their mom at a little league baseball game smiling proudly? My boys were getting way too much because I grew up working poor and wanted their eyes to sparkle Christmas morning. By the time difficult child was 5 I saw what a horrible thing I was doing to my son's to make some need of mine their downfall. Is there nothing worse than an adult who doesn't work for something? Why would a kid work for something if he has everything. Christmas is limited to one large item and one small item. Anything else is gravy. They actually came to like it that way. Maybe the family should make her pay daycare fees. If she doesn't like them, she may realize that financially it's better to work part time. I know she loves her kids and we all want to give our kids the opportunities we didn't have but the wise thing to do is ask "who does it serve?' to over indulge the kids, or to work to the point being an absent parent. Being a stay at home mom is hard work and not everyone is cut out for it but I know no one is cut out to be a good mom if they are exhausted to the brink of collapse. I understand that she doesn't want the type of home where her kids see dad as unproductive and miserable but the kids see mom as being miserable and scary because she has this distorted idea of what the kids really need. Part time work, making her pay daycare rates and a calm conversation may help her to be a success in the mommy dept. She is being pushed by the demon of failure. She just has to identify what is failure to her? What is success? Maybe it will help her to reflect on what she is doing. No one burns the candle at both ends and will themselves to continue to do it. Not successes that's for sure. She has to find the balance between financial stability(which is important vs over indulging) and giving her children what they need. What memories are the kids going to have of growing up? It's always a worry to see one of our kids struggling especially easy child's. It always throws me for a loop when easy child seems out of whack. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
It's Not Always the difficult children....
Top