Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
I've TRIED everything..............I need HELP!
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 133741" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I absolutely recommend the Love&Logic stuff. It has been the most help in getting ALL of us to do what we need to. You can get lots of info, some interesting free audio downloads, and more of an idea of it on <a href="http://www.loveandlogic.com" target="_blank">www.loveandlogic.com</a> . I do recommend even reading the teacher stuff that is free. I found it helpful.</p><p> </p><p>You need to read "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. IT will help you prioritize and figure out how to tackle things.</p><p> </p><p>Have you been going to Al-Anon? If your husband has a drinking problem (even if he is not actively drinking, or is in recovery) then this will be a WORLD of help for you. </p><p> </p><p>Please step back from the discipline of your stepkids. It will NOT work. I watched this be a MAJOR problem in my bro's marriage. She didn't want to discipline her kids, he was sick of watching them walk all over her. He tried to discipline, the kids resented it, and this helped hasten the end of the marriage.</p><p> </p><p>Al-Anon will help you figure out how to communicate what you feel is needed to your husband. There are many books out there for step parents also.</p><p> </p><p>It may be helpful to make a list of what bugs you. (just because reasonable people would see this as a problem does NOT mean that the kids, or your husband will - you probably will have to learn some very new ways to handle issues and communicate if this is to work for all of you.)</p><p> </p><p>Then prioritize things. With the kids you and husband need to come to an agreement about what is to be done, and HOW (break it into baby steps) then husband MUST MUST MUST be the one to drive the discipline. IF he won't, then you are really going to have major major problems.</p><p> </p><p>After you have the top few things that bug you, sit and talk in a kid-free neutral place. It can be over dinner, a therapists office, whatever works for you. Even as you take a walk.</p><p> </p><p>I am sorry it is so rough. I know it can't be easy for you. </p><p> </p><p>As a question, What was husband's home/apartment like when you first started dating? Did you end up doing major cleaning/improvements/etc... FOR him?? He may or may not "get it" that the chores need to be done.</p><p> </p><p>I hope you can find a happy shared ground to help the kids.</p><p> </p><p>Hugs,</p><p> </p><p>SUsie</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 133741, member: 1233"] I absolutely recommend the Love&Logic stuff. It has been the most help in getting ALL of us to do what we need to. You can get lots of info, some interesting free audio downloads, and more of an idea of it on [URL="http://www.loveandlogic.com"]www.loveandlogic.com[/URL] . I do recommend even reading the teacher stuff that is free. I found it helpful. You need to read "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. IT will help you prioritize and figure out how to tackle things. Have you been going to Al-Anon? If your husband has a drinking problem (even if he is not actively drinking, or is in recovery) then this will be a WORLD of help for you. Please step back from the discipline of your stepkids. It will NOT work. I watched this be a MAJOR problem in my bro's marriage. She didn't want to discipline her kids, he was sick of watching them walk all over her. He tried to discipline, the kids resented it, and this helped hasten the end of the marriage. Al-Anon will help you figure out how to communicate what you feel is needed to your husband. There are many books out there for step parents also. It may be helpful to make a list of what bugs you. (just because reasonable people would see this as a problem does NOT mean that the kids, or your husband will - you probably will have to learn some very new ways to handle issues and communicate if this is to work for all of you.) Then prioritize things. With the kids you and husband need to come to an agreement about what is to be done, and HOW (break it into baby steps) then husband MUST MUST MUST be the one to drive the discipline. IF he won't, then you are really going to have major major problems. After you have the top few things that bug you, sit and talk in a kid-free neutral place. It can be over dinner, a therapists office, whatever works for you. Even as you take a walk. I am sorry it is so rough. I know it can't be easy for you. As a question, What was husband's home/apartment like when you first started dating? Did you end up doing major cleaning/improvements/etc... FOR him?? He may or may not "get it" that the chores need to be done. I hope you can find a happy shared ground to help the kids. Hugs, SUsie [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
I've TRIED everything..............I need HELP!
Top