My son lives in a soberhouse also, and of course they cannot drink while living there. It doesn't matter what the conditions of his parole are, you are right, it's a house rule!!!
I'm so sorry this has happened, as I know what it's like to be so hopeful that this is the place they need to be and will finally get it. The house my son is in right now seems good for him, but I know that can change at anytime because they are strict, and yes, you have to follow the rules or you are out. I'm not surprised they won't give you any information. The house my son is in right now told me if they ever have to kick him out they will call me to pick up his stuff within 24 hours. I was surprised when they told me that, because most won't even let you know they are out.
I'm glad your son was looking for a homeless shelter and that his first idea was not to come home. Mine would do the same at this point, because he knows coming home is never an option, especially if he got kicked out of a soberhouse for using.
Detatch and let him figure this out. They need to learn that there are rules and if you don't follow them, you need to suffer the consequences. Hopefully someday all of our difficult child's will get this, I just don't know if we will still be alive by then!!
