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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 656731" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Good, Copa.</p><p></p><p><em>Now you know how loving and forgiving and accepting are done. Begin here, where you are in this moment. Allow yourself joy. You are the one who decides how you will see.</em></p><p></p><p>Here is a dream I had last night.</p><p></p><p>A sun-filled room. My mother is there, and I come there, for her. For her, and for me, I enter the sun-filled room. My mother is so pleased to see me. She is a strong, clear-eyed version of herself, joy at the heart of her. She comments on my beauty, on the length and texture and color of my hair. It is waist length in the dream as it is now, in my real life.</p><p>My mother takes something beautiful out of a white drawer in the sun-filled room.</p><p>It is my hair. Shining in the sun, catching the light, beautifully red ~ the exact shade of strawberry blond edging toward red that my hair is and was, though it is changing now, with white in it. She compares that head of hair to the one actually growing from my head. The one she has kept, for all these years, in the white drawer in the sun-filled room is longer. My mother says: "Do you see? It was longer, last time."</p><p></p><p>And there is truth between us.</p><p></p><p>And it is good.</p><p></p><p>And the room is so bright, Copa. So brilliantly filled with light.</p><p></p><p>And that was my dream, last night.</p><p></p><p>So now I am going to review my posts on the Family of Origins thread. I am probably going to post more horrible things about my mother, and about myself.</p><p></p><p>Because I will have it, Copa. I will know all of it for what it is and reclaim myself.</p><p></p><p>That is what your mother would want for you, Copa.</p><p></p><p><em>Just as that is what you want for your son.</em></p><p></p><p>There was something timeless and very real about the dream, Copa.</p><p></p><p>You know how some dreams fade when we awaken? This one is not fading.</p><p></p><p>It is one of those dreams that tells us the true things we need to know.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 656731, member: 17461"] Good, Copa. [I]Now you know how loving and forgiving and accepting are done. Begin here, where you are in this moment. Allow yourself joy. You are the one who decides how you will see.[/I] Here is a dream I had last night. A sun-filled room. My mother is there, and I come there, for her. For her, and for me, I enter the sun-filled room. My mother is so pleased to see me. She is a strong, clear-eyed version of herself, joy at the heart of her. She comments on my beauty, on the length and texture and color of my hair. It is waist length in the dream as it is now, in my real life. My mother takes something beautiful out of a white drawer in the sun-filled room. It is my hair. Shining in the sun, catching the light, beautifully red ~ the exact shade of strawberry blond edging toward red that my hair is and was, though it is changing now, with white in it. She compares that head of hair to the one actually growing from my head. The one she has kept, for all these years, in the white drawer in the sun-filled room is longer. My mother says: "Do you see? It was longer, last time." And there is truth between us. And it is good. And the room is so bright, Copa. So brilliantly filled with light. And that was my dream, last night. So now I am going to review my posts on the Family of Origins thread. I am probably going to post more horrible things about my mother, and about myself. Because I will have it, Copa. I will know all of it for what it is and reclaim myself. That is what your mother would want for you, Copa. [I]Just as that is what you want for your son.[/I] There was something timeless and very real about the dream, Copa. You know how some dreams fade when we awaken? This one is not fading. It is one of those dreams that tells us the true things we need to know. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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