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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 656937" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Cedar's take: Your mother's brain tumor may have been responsible for the difference in her, for the toxicity and etc. It may have. What our mothers were thinking is less the issue than what we taught ourselves about ourselves from the ways our mothers were thinking. We need to figure out whether any of it was valid, and we need to hunt down and eradicate those things that are weakening us in our lives, now. So: It was not that she did not want you, personally, there with her then, SWOT. <em>My mother did this same thing to me regarding my father's bypass surgery.</em> It was not that she did not want me there.</p><p></p><p>She wanted to exclude me from a place I had a right, and an obligation, to be.</p><p></p><p>She wanted my father to believe all good things came only through her ~ and she wanted me to accede to that reality, forevermore. It was a lesson I had refused and stood up to and defied her in all of my life. I continued to cherish my sibs, whether embroiled in guilt and cowardice because I had not been able to protect them or not. I continued to believe in my sister's sincerity, and in my mother's basic goodness, no matter what.</p><p></p><p>And that is what she hates about me. She doesn't see me, except for how she hates what I am. </p><p></p><p>So this trauma she dealt you, SWOT, was calculated to leave you in exactly the position you are in now, regarding rejection.</p><p></p><p>Lurch will begin unplugging your mother's batteries as soon as he finishes unplugging all the places my mother's toxicity still functions, in me. Oh, wait, SWOT. <em>All the butlers look like Lurch.</em> There is more than one Lurch in my saddlebag. Those we invented for you are already unplugging the toxic mother in your emotional makeup.</p><p></p><p>:O)</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p><p></p><p>Bye, mom.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 656937, member: 17461"] Cedar's take: Your mother's brain tumor may have been responsible for the difference in her, for the toxicity and etc. It may have. What our mothers were thinking is less the issue than what we taught ourselves about ourselves from the ways our mothers were thinking. We need to figure out whether any of it was valid, and we need to hunt down and eradicate those things that are weakening us in our lives, now. So: It was not that she did not want you, personally, there with her then, SWOT. [I]My mother did this same thing to me regarding my father's bypass surgery.[/I] It was not that she did not want me there. She wanted to exclude me from a place I had a right, and an obligation, to be. She wanted my father to believe all good things came only through her ~ and she wanted me to accede to that reality, forevermore. It was a lesson I had refused and stood up to and defied her in all of my life. I continued to cherish my sibs, whether embroiled in guilt and cowardice because I had not been able to protect them or not. I continued to believe in my sister's sincerity, and in my mother's basic goodness, no matter what. And that is what she hates about me. She doesn't see me, except for how she hates what I am. So this trauma she dealt you, SWOT, was calculated to leave you in exactly the position you are in now, regarding rejection. Lurch will begin unplugging your mother's batteries as soon as he finishes unplugging all the places my mother's toxicity still functions, in me. Oh, wait, SWOT. [I]All the butlers look like Lurch.[/I] There is more than one Lurch in my saddlebag. Those we invented for you are already unplugging the toxic mother in your emotional makeup. :O) Cedar Bye, mom. [/QUOTE]
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