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Juist when things were going well
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 590664" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Oh SFR, I can understand how much your heart is hurting right now..........sigh........, all those mixed feelings are so hard on our mother's hearts. It just must have been such a shocker to get that phone call while aboard a ship. Your daughter does sound as if she may have slipped into a mood disorder exacerbated by a break up and/or drug or alcohol use. I'm sorry, I know how difficult it is to feel so helpless. I completely agree with IC, trying to connect and build a bridge seems important while at the same time practicing your detachment skills, boy a tall order. But, it's also the time to be doing that too, given her age, your relationship is shifting into a different phase, your mothering is transiting into a more detached place anyway. </p><p></p><p>I don't know if this is already the case for you, but it may be a good time for you to get support for yourself, in whatever form feels right to you. Nurture yourself, take good care of yourself, make sure you have a support system in place where your needs are met. I don't think there is anything you should feel guilty about, we always do the best we can, this didn't happen because of anything you did or didn't do, <strong>it just is </strong>and now requires you to show up in a different way........., which you are, so don't add beating yourself up to the mix. Be kind to yourself. Detachment is the hardest thing any of us has to do, you sure are in the right place to say that................I'm sorry you have to be where you are.............I wish you peace and send you caring, understanding hugs...........</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 590664, member: 13542"] Oh SFR, I can understand how much your heart is hurting right now..........sigh........, all those mixed feelings are so hard on our mother's hearts. It just must have been such a shocker to get that phone call while aboard a ship. Your daughter does sound as if she may have slipped into a mood disorder exacerbated by a break up and/or drug or alcohol use. I'm sorry, I know how difficult it is to feel so helpless. I completely agree with IC, trying to connect and build a bridge seems important while at the same time practicing your detachment skills, boy a tall order. But, it's also the time to be doing that too, given her age, your relationship is shifting into a different phase, your mothering is transiting into a more detached place anyway. I don't know if this is already the case for you, but it may be a good time for you to get support for yourself, in whatever form feels right to you. Nurture yourself, take good care of yourself, make sure you have a support system in place where your needs are met. I don't think there is anything you should feel guilty about, we always do the best we can, this didn't happen because of anything you did or didn't do, [B]it just is [/B]and now requires you to show up in a different way........., which you are, so don't add beating yourself up to the mix. Be kind to yourself. Detachment is the hardest thing any of us has to do, you sure are in the right place to say that................I'm sorry you have to be where you are.............I wish you peace and send you caring, understanding hugs........... [/QUOTE]
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