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July and my mom
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<blockquote data-quote="witzend" data-source="post: 180169" data-attributes="member: 99"><p>My grandmother lived with us when I was a girl. She had declined much further that your mother by the time she came to stay with us. There were hallucinations, she couldn't dress or bathe and was beginning to have toilet issues. She wandered, especially at night. Thank goodness the front door was too heavy for her to open by herself or who knows what would have happened. Years later her sister had the same problems. There was a lot of fear with both of them as to moving to a nursing home. The thing is, if there had been better planning earlier on, they could have gone somewhere more pleasant than where they ended up, which was a basic care facility where they both went to die. My grandma had early onset, and was younger than I when her symptoms began. Her sister was not quite so bad, and treatment facilities had improved vastly over the years. </p><p></p><p>In hindsight, spending down and/or waiting for the symptoms to become so severe that we couldn't handle them at home was not the way to go. Given the chance to go through the situation again, I would have looked for an assisted living alzheimer's facility early on for my aunt (I was her guardian and conservator) while she still had the ability to enjoy some of the things that they had to offer. Then she could have spent the last months of her life (she went downhill rapidly) being someplace pretty with other people and having staff who were well prepared to watch over her and deal with her fears and losses without taking them personally.</p><p></p><p>Having been there done that, my advice to you would be that if it is financially possible, place her someplace where you are comfortable with the facilities. They will work with her finances, even if she doesn't have much. Regardless of the facility, they are all happy to help her spend it down then accept SSI. You might as well do it someplace she'll enjoy.</p><p></p><p>I think it's just as hard for them to wonder who you are as it is for you to know that they have forgotten you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="witzend, post: 180169, member: 99"] My grandmother lived with us when I was a girl. She had declined much further that your mother by the time she came to stay with us. There were hallucinations, she couldn't dress or bathe and was beginning to have toilet issues. She wandered, especially at night. Thank goodness the front door was too heavy for her to open by herself or who knows what would have happened. Years later her sister had the same problems. There was a lot of fear with both of them as to moving to a nursing home. The thing is, if there had been better planning earlier on, they could have gone somewhere more pleasant than where they ended up, which was a basic care facility where they both went to die. My grandma had early onset, and was younger than I when her symptoms began. Her sister was not quite so bad, and treatment facilities had improved vastly over the years. In hindsight, spending down and/or waiting for the symptoms to become so severe that we couldn't handle them at home was not the way to go. Given the chance to go through the situation again, I would have looked for an assisted living alzheimer's facility early on for my aunt (I was her guardian and conservator) while she still had the ability to enjoy some of the things that they had to offer. Then she could have spent the last months of her life (she went downhill rapidly) being someplace pretty with other people and having staff who were well prepared to watch over her and deal with her fears and losses without taking them personally. Having been there done that, my advice to you would be that if it is financially possible, place her someplace where you are comfortable with the facilities. They will work with her finances, even if she doesn't have much. Regardless of the facility, they are all happy to help her spend it down then accept SSI. You might as well do it someplace she'll enjoy. I think it's just as hard for them to wonder who you are as it is for you to know that they have forgotten you. [/QUOTE]
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