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Jumper will never have a get together at ouro house...I'm angry and hurt
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 540378" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I'm sticking to my guns. Before my daughter (or any of my other kids) were ever allowed to go over to other's homes, I had to call the parents to talk to them and I wasn't above asking, "There will be no drugs or alcohol and somebody will be home all night?" I had parents who thanked me for calling saying, "Wow. Most parents just drop them off and don't care." In fact, most were very happy to tell me and to complain about the parents who liked them to be babysitters.</p><p></p><p>There is an element of feeling left out here, BUt I never really pushed it when Jumper was with Joe. Joe is so anti-drug, anti-everything-bad (and this is not an act) that I trusted her completely when she went places with him. He was older and protective and would have brought her home if anything bad had been going on. Now she is on her own, and grieving her boyfriend and in a vulnerable mindset and I don't know any of these kids Joe and Nicole have been hanging around with for the last year. It could be that Joe HAS brought her home when stuff got too heavy. I can't ask him. He's no longer around and since I'm an adult, I'm not sure he'd tell me. I did find out, from one mother herself, that she not only allows her daughter and daughter's boyfriend to sleep together in their home (daughter is on birth control), but that she hands out booze to the kids as long as they stay overnight. Her rationale is, "Id' rather have them drink here than drive." </p><p></p><p>I hope I didn't look too shocked, and this girl is not Jumper's friend, but they play basketball together. It is common for kids to go for a "team bonding" to somebody's house after a basketball game and I am SURE glad I learned about this kid's home. I wouldn't allow Jumper over there for any reason now. It's illegal to give alcohol to anyone under twenty-one and I don't want any mother deciding that it's ok for Jumper to have a few beers as long as she doesn't drive home. I'm not sure all the mothers whose k ids go over there know what she is doing. She was quite proud of her behavior, by the way. </p><p></p><p>I really, really, really doubt that Jumper's friends parents do these things, but they are ALL drinkers. And, as a group, they get together to drink and party often. To the very best of my knowledge they would be appalled that this woman is giving alcohol to minors. But I want to make sure that it doesn't happen. Jumper's birthfather is a career drug addict, often in jail, so the gene for alcoholism is likely there and I don't want her pressured to drink. Joe was very anti-drinking (even in some club against drinking) and there was never any hint of alcohol on either of them when they were together. Again, Jumper is in a vulnerable position now. She misses Joe. She doesn't even care about having another boyfriend. She only misses Joe and I know she is very sad about the breakup. She is now only out with her girlfriends, kids that I know casually. Kids whose parents I don't really know more than to say "hi." Some are parents whom I think drink way too much (I have seen no indication that they share with the kids).</p><p></p><p>Jumper has never been told she can't go somewhere. All she is being told is that I want to meet the parents and get to know her friends. She is talking about throwing a party after volleyball on Monday. That would be a good start. I am going with her tomorrow to buy a volleyball/badmitten set for our back yard. There is no reason on earth why Jumper can't have these get togethers at our house as well as going to other's homes. To be absolutely honest, Joe used to be at our house all the time, and guess who REALLY played host? ME! I could buy a cooler, stash drinks and order pizza and Jumper wouldn't have to do a thing. </p><p></p><p>I'm sure some of the basketball moms wonder why we haven't had a "team bonding" at OUR house, and this year...we will.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 540378, member: 1550"] I'm sticking to my guns. Before my daughter (or any of my other kids) were ever allowed to go over to other's homes, I had to call the parents to talk to them and I wasn't above asking, "There will be no drugs or alcohol and somebody will be home all night?" I had parents who thanked me for calling saying, "Wow. Most parents just drop them off and don't care." In fact, most were very happy to tell me and to complain about the parents who liked them to be babysitters. There is an element of feeling left out here, BUt I never really pushed it when Jumper was with Joe. Joe is so anti-drug, anti-everything-bad (and this is not an act) that I trusted her completely when she went places with him. He was older and protective and would have brought her home if anything bad had been going on. Now she is on her own, and grieving her boyfriend and in a vulnerable mindset and I don't know any of these kids Joe and Nicole have been hanging around with for the last year. It could be that Joe HAS brought her home when stuff got too heavy. I can't ask him. He's no longer around and since I'm an adult, I'm not sure he'd tell me. I did find out, from one mother herself, that she not only allows her daughter and daughter's boyfriend to sleep together in their home (daughter is on birth control), but that she hands out booze to the kids as long as they stay overnight. Her rationale is, "Id' rather have them drink here than drive." I hope I didn't look too shocked, and this girl is not Jumper's friend, but they play basketball together. It is common for kids to go for a "team bonding" to somebody's house after a basketball game and I am SURE glad I learned about this kid's home. I wouldn't allow Jumper over there for any reason now. It's illegal to give alcohol to anyone under twenty-one and I don't want any mother deciding that it's ok for Jumper to have a few beers as long as she doesn't drive home. I'm not sure all the mothers whose k ids go over there know what she is doing. She was quite proud of her behavior, by the way. I really, really, really doubt that Jumper's friends parents do these things, but they are ALL drinkers. And, as a group, they get together to drink and party often. To the very best of my knowledge they would be appalled that this woman is giving alcohol to minors. But I want to make sure that it doesn't happen. Jumper's birthfather is a career drug addict, often in jail, so the gene for alcoholism is likely there and I don't want her pressured to drink. Joe was very anti-drinking (even in some club against drinking) and there was never any hint of alcohol on either of them when they were together. Again, Jumper is in a vulnerable position now. She misses Joe. She doesn't even care about having another boyfriend. She only misses Joe and I know she is very sad about the breakup. She is now only out with her girlfriends, kids that I know casually. Kids whose parents I don't really know more than to say "hi." Some are parents whom I think drink way too much (I have seen no indication that they share with the kids). Jumper has never been told she can't go somewhere. All she is being told is that I want to meet the parents and get to know her friends. She is talking about throwing a party after volleyball on Monday. That would be a good start. I am going with her tomorrow to buy a volleyball/badmitten set for our back yard. There is no reason on earth why Jumper can't have these get togethers at our house as well as going to other's homes. To be absolutely honest, Joe used to be at our house all the time, and guess who REALLY played host? ME! I could buy a cooler, stash drinks and order pizza and Jumper wouldn't have to do a thing. I'm sure some of the basketball moms wonder why we haven't had a "team bonding" at OUR house, and this year...we will. [/QUOTE]
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Jumper will never have a get together at ouro house...I'm angry and hurt
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