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The Watercooler
Jumper will never have a get together at ouro house...I'm angry and hurt
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<blockquote data-quote="flutterby" data-source="post: 540523" data-attributes="member: 7083"><p>Nancy, just because I - or others - don't agree with showing up unannounced and hanging around a party doesn't meant I didn't know or care what my kids were doing. If my kids were going somewhere where I didn't know the parents, I called to introduce myself, make sure an adult was going to be there, what was going on, etc. If they were out playing in the neighborhood, they had to let me know before he went anywhere else. They didn't have cellphones so most of the time that meant they had to come home and tell me that the kids were now going to x's house or the field or wherever. It was never an issue with difficult child, but the couple of times that easy child "forgot" to tell me he was going somewhere else (on foot, in the neighborhood) there were serious consequences. When he was older and thought he could fudge curfew by 5 or 10 or 15 minutes, he learned that for every minute he's late he had to be home 30 minutes earlier the next night. </p><p></p><p>However, making a phone call to verify that there will be supervision, etc, or dropping your kid at the door are vastly different from dropping in unannounced and uninvited - and planning to stay - to someone else's house. It has a huge potential to backfire - if not with Jumper, then with Jumper's friends and parents. Whether MWM cares or not, the parents will talk. There was one mom in easy child's group of friends that we all tried to avoid because of this kind of stuff. Do you think she really knew more about what was going on when we all wanted to avoid her? Especially when there is no concern and a police friend of MWM already said he knew the kids and that they "never" get into trouble. If I had suspicions that nefarious activity was going on, I'd sure as hell drop by unannounced. There don't seem to be any suspicions here. </p><p></p><p>Just because I think this one thing is a bad idea does not make me or anyone who feels similar a bad or absent or uninformed parent.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="flutterby, post: 540523, member: 7083"] Nancy, just because I - or others - don't agree with showing up unannounced and hanging around a party doesn't meant I didn't know or care what my kids were doing. If my kids were going somewhere where I didn't know the parents, I called to introduce myself, make sure an adult was going to be there, what was going on, etc. If they were out playing in the neighborhood, they had to let me know before he went anywhere else. They didn't have cellphones so most of the time that meant they had to come home and tell me that the kids were now going to x's house or the field or wherever. It was never an issue with difficult child, but the couple of times that easy child "forgot" to tell me he was going somewhere else (on foot, in the neighborhood) there were serious consequences. When he was older and thought he could fudge curfew by 5 or 10 or 15 minutes, he learned that for every minute he's late he had to be home 30 minutes earlier the next night. However, making a phone call to verify that there will be supervision, etc, or dropping your kid at the door are vastly different from dropping in unannounced and uninvited - and planning to stay - to someone else's house. It has a huge potential to backfire - if not with Jumper, then with Jumper's friends and parents. Whether MWM cares or not, the parents will talk. There was one mom in easy child's group of friends that we all tried to avoid because of this kind of stuff. Do you think she really knew more about what was going on when we all wanted to avoid her? Especially when there is no concern and a police friend of MWM already said he knew the kids and that they "never" get into trouble. If I had suspicions that nefarious activity was going on, I'd sure as hell drop by unannounced. There don't seem to be any suspicions here. Just because I think this one thing is a bad idea does not make me or anyone who feels similar a bad or absent or uninformed parent. [/QUOTE]
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Jumper will never have a get together at ouro house...I'm angry and hurt
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