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Just a thought: It is so much less busy now than it used to be here.
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 683400" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>SWOT. Nobody knows the future. A move to another state was made in good faith. It is equally true that the move could have made her more resilient.</p><p></p><p>My mother and step-father when I was 13 moved us to a new city away from the neighborhood of my birth that I loved as much as I loved anything in the world. With this I became depressed and for the first time felt marginal and without a place in the world to stand. There were not drugs then, available to teens, but I doubt I would have taken them. There was alcohol and I chose not to drink.</p><p></p><p>The child has a range of choices available to them, and they choose. That a child has a limiting characteristic, like shyness or sensitivity or emotionality, that may be concerning is not a reason to not live life in a regular way.</p><p></p><p>Until I read this post I held resentment at my mother for prioritizing her own needs and disregarding my own, as a child. Reading this post I have changed my mind--at least about this move.</p><p></p><p>That move, after all is said and done, was the driver most responsible for defining my life for the good. I learned that environments will change. Must. They cannot be depended upon. That it is us, who define ourselves and make what we have. The school I went to was in what would become Silicon Valley. I was surrounded by children whose lives were enriched and whose parents were brilliant, and demanded high achievement of them.</p><p></p><p>I learned to do so of myself. Had I not moved, this would not have been the case. I would have married early and foreclosed my own aspirations, which have defined me. Defined my life.</p><p></p><p>Life is a challenge. Your daughter learned that early. Had you shielded her, it might not have been the best choice at all.</p><p></p><p>Of course I do not know the particulars, and as they say on the radio, the rest of the story. I am writing here for a general audience of parents who may take on themselves self-blame for naught. Real life requires choices. Changes. That our children respond with distress, while distressing, is the nature of the beast. Of life. They are no more hothouse plants than are we. A limb may die, but they grow more roots, and they grow new stronger limbs and flower and fruit. Or not. But this is life.</p><p></p><p>There is no other one.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 683400, member: 18958"] SWOT. Nobody knows the future. A move to another state was made in good faith. It is equally true that the move could have made her more resilient. My mother and step-father when I was 13 moved us to a new city away from the neighborhood of my birth that I loved as much as I loved anything in the world. With this I became depressed and for the first time felt marginal and without a place in the world to stand. There were not drugs then, available to teens, but I doubt I would have taken them. There was alcohol and I chose not to drink. The child has a range of choices available to them, and they choose. That a child has a limiting characteristic, like shyness or sensitivity or emotionality, that may be concerning is not a reason to not live life in a regular way. Until I read this post I held resentment at my mother for prioritizing her own needs and disregarding my own, as a child. Reading this post I have changed my mind--at least about this move. That move, after all is said and done, was the driver most responsible for defining my life for the good. I learned that environments will change. Must. They cannot be depended upon. That it is us, who define ourselves and make what we have. The school I went to was in what would become Silicon Valley. I was surrounded by children whose lives were enriched and whose parents were brilliant, and demanded high achievement of them. I learned to do so of myself. Had I not moved, this would not have been the case. I would have married early and foreclosed my own aspirations, which have defined me. Defined my life. Life is a challenge. Your daughter learned that early. Had you shielded her, it might not have been the best choice at all. Of course I do not know the particulars, and as they say on the radio, the rest of the story. I am writing here for a general audience of parents who may take on themselves self-blame for naught. Real life requires choices. Changes. That our children respond with distress, while distressing, is the nature of the beast. Of life. They are no more hothouse plants than are we. A limb may die, but they grow more roots, and they grow new stronger limbs and flower and fruit. Or not. But this is life. There is no other one. [/QUOTE]
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Just a thought: It is so much less busy now than it used to be here.
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