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Just a thought: It is so much less busy now than it used to be here.
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<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 683464" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>Ahhhhh Marcie - I just love you to death!!!! And you forgot to mention Cheech's envisioned enlistment in the Navy, complete with condo in San Diego with killer views of the water. Or his first tat. I think the fact that we can chuckle over those days is really something pretty darn special. (And I have the same problem with Da Do Run Run Run!!)</p><p></p><p>Dark sarcastic humor was essential back in those days. Still is, in my opinion, which is perhaps why I don't post as much. Maybe it was just one of those rare perfect moments in time where the stars aligned and we found each other while our kids were still young and we were most in need. Maybe it's a generational thing. I don't know.</p><p></p><p>And on a more serious note, there were important things I learned from Suz and Janet and Marcie and all the other folks who had kids a couple years older.</p><p></p><p>Beam - I would strongly recommend *NOT* reading PE forum just yet. I didn't until my kid hit 17, though I got here when he was 7. I remember reading Fran's signature when I arrived - her kid had been in an emotional growth boarding school for 18 months, and I thought no *way* could I survive that. Joke was on me - my kid was in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) for 9 years. Nine. Unthinkable. We all survived though.</p><p></p><p>Nothing is written in stone, ever. Whether your kid is 14 or 19 or 25. Growth is possible. If you had asked me when my challenging kid was 18 what I thought the outcome was going to be, I would've told you without hesitation that he would be dead by 20, via OD. But where there's life, there's hope. He's 25 now, an EMT, really a wonderful man and I take great pride in him. My biggest gripe is that he overloads my clothes washer! <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/Graemlins/rofl.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":rofl:" title="rofl :rofl:" data-shortname=":rofl:" /> We dealt with significant violence, bruises, bites, broken windows/furniture/lamps, broken bones (an adult's, not his), child service investigations, the whole 9 yards. When we bought our home, my "decor" requirements were simple - whatever came into the home could not be used as a weapon - hence no pictures, no ceramic lamps, only plastic cups, etc. It's a good minimalist look. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /> But.... it's done and over, and I don't dwell on it a whole lot because he is functional, and *that* is the goal.</p><p></p><p>I think our challenging kids just take longer to cook, and chances are good they're not going to follow a direct path to becoming functional adults. But worrying about what she will look like in 4 or 8 years is a fruitless exercise that will only make you crazy. There is simply no telling when things will click. You have to deal with what you've got today, keep pointing her in the right direction, and hope that eventually she will figure it out (with, or in spite of, you - I'm still not sure which).</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 683464, member: 8"] Ahhhhh Marcie - I just love you to death!!!! And you forgot to mention Cheech's envisioned enlistment in the Navy, complete with condo in San Diego with killer views of the water. Or his first tat. I think the fact that we can chuckle over those days is really something pretty darn special. (And I have the same problem with Da Do Run Run Run!!) Dark sarcastic humor was essential back in those days. Still is, in my opinion, which is perhaps why I don't post as much. Maybe it was just one of those rare perfect moments in time where the stars aligned and we found each other while our kids were still young and we were most in need. Maybe it's a generational thing. I don't know. And on a more serious note, there were important things I learned from Suz and Janet and Marcie and all the other folks who had kids a couple years older. Beam - I would strongly recommend *NOT* reading PE forum just yet. I didn't until my kid hit 17, though I got here when he was 7. I remember reading Fran's signature when I arrived - her kid had been in an emotional growth boarding school for 18 months, and I thought no *way* could I survive that. Joke was on me - my kid was in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) for 9 years. Nine. Unthinkable. We all survived though. Nothing is written in stone, ever. Whether your kid is 14 or 19 or 25. Growth is possible. If you had asked me when my challenging kid was 18 what I thought the outcome was going to be, I would've told you without hesitation that he would be dead by 20, via OD. But where there's life, there's hope. He's 25 now, an EMT, really a wonderful man and I take great pride in him. My biggest gripe is that he overloads my clothes washer! :rofl: We dealt with significant violence, bruises, bites, broken windows/furniture/lamps, broken bones (an adult's, not his), child service investigations, the whole 9 yards. When we bought our home, my "decor" requirements were simple - whatever came into the home could not be used as a weapon - hence no pictures, no ceramic lamps, only plastic cups, etc. It's a good minimalist look. ;) But.... it's done and over, and I don't dwell on it a whole lot because he is functional, and *that* is the goal. I think our challenging kids just take longer to cook, and chances are good they're not going to follow a direct path to becoming functional adults. But worrying about what she will look like in 4 or 8 years is a fruitless exercise that will only make you crazy. There is simply no telling when things will click. You have to deal with what you've got today, keep pointing her in the right direction, and hope that eventually she will figure it out (with, or in spite of, you - I'm still not sure which). [/QUOTE]
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Just a thought: It is so much less busy now than it used to be here.
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