Deni D, So sorry for your weariness and discouragement, especially on your birthday. People with normal children may try to understand, but they just can't. I'm glad you're going to find a support group or Al-Anon.
Good reminders I needed to hear today too. I have to constantly remind myself that as much as I love Josh, God loves him far more. I cry out to Him all the time, that He will intervene and rescue. That's all we can do.