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<blockquote data-quote="Shari" data-source="post: 287171" data-attributes="member: 1848"><p>Actually, Anaheim, I thank you for this post. I was once a young, naive person who thought all problem kids, or at least most, were a result of poor parenting. And all the people in "that part of town" deserved to be there.</p><p> </p><p>I can still clearly remember <em>being</em> that person, that judged so harshly, and so life-without-gray-ish. </p><p> </p><p>Like you, I had an AHA moment. I was blessed with not one, but TWO difficult child's. My easy child is fine; I parented him ok. My step-daughter is ok. Both difficult children' therapists and counselors, and wee difficult child's doctors have praised my parenting tremendously; our in-home, who works primarily in the St Louis area, says he rarely sees a child with the level of wee difficult child's problems without having a history of serious abuse. I can garauntee that has not happened (ok, well, maybe the school's carp, but that was AFTER he was a difficult child, not before).</p><p> </p><p>And I found this site, and other parents with troubled children, who were <em>good </em>parents. And I learned that I was wrong. But I still clearly remember the days when I knew it all....and oh, how I wish I could go back and change myself back then. I'm just glad I've changed, now.</p><p> </p><p>I am not offended and I hope you didn't take it as such. My DEX used to be on the department here in town, and its hard not to get...acclimated....to certain calls. Like the routine transport calls to the nursing home. He's been gone now for over 7 years, and I can still tell you the address of the nursing home and the departments codes. 99 calls out of 100 was an SOP call to transport a patient. But that 100th call...when someone truly needed help...you just assumed it was another routine SOP call...and ya know, I don't know how you don't just get acclimated to that.</p><p> </p><p>Anyway, I'm rambling, but seriously, kudos to you for seeing that light, AND for admitting it. Maybe someone else will stumble onto your thread and see that maybe it isn't always a choice, and it isn't always so black and white.</p><p> </p><p>And Janet, I will try your idea! What the heck. My neck is red...if no one takes it, maybe I'll paint some flowers on it or put it on blocks or something....play it up a bit. LOL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Shari, post: 287171, member: 1848"] Actually, Anaheim, I thank you for this post. I was once a young, naive person who thought all problem kids, or at least most, were a result of poor parenting. And all the people in "that part of town" deserved to be there. I can still clearly remember [I]being[/I] that person, that judged so harshly, and so life-without-gray-ish. Like you, I had an AHA moment. I was blessed with not one, but TWO difficult child's. My easy child is fine; I parented him ok. My step-daughter is ok. Both difficult children' therapists and counselors, and wee difficult child's doctors have praised my parenting tremendously; our in-home, who works primarily in the St Louis area, says he rarely sees a child with the level of wee difficult child's problems without having a history of serious abuse. I can garauntee that has not happened (ok, well, maybe the school's carp, but that was AFTER he was a difficult child, not before). And I found this site, and other parents with troubled children, who were [I]good [/I]parents. And I learned that I was wrong. But I still clearly remember the days when I knew it all....and oh, how I wish I could go back and change myself back then. I'm just glad I've changed, now. I am not offended and I hope you didn't take it as such. My DEX used to be on the department here in town, and its hard not to get...acclimated....to certain calls. Like the routine transport calls to the nursing home. He's been gone now for over 7 years, and I can still tell you the address of the nursing home and the departments codes. 99 calls out of 100 was an SOP call to transport a patient. But that 100th call...when someone truly needed help...you just assumed it was another routine SOP call...and ya know, I don't know how you don't just get acclimated to that. Anyway, I'm rambling, but seriously, kudos to you for seeing that light, AND for admitting it. Maybe someone else will stumble onto your thread and see that maybe it isn't always a choice, and it isn't always so black and white. And Janet, I will try your idea! What the heck. My neck is red...if no one takes it, maybe I'll paint some flowers on it or put it on blocks or something....play it up a bit. LOL [/QUOTE]
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