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<blockquote data-quote="Littleboylost" data-source="post: 739656" data-attributes="member: 21895"><p>Hi Penny</p><p> I’m just catching up on this thread and there some wonderful advice already given her. I will be brief but to the point. Collect an entire set of posterior statements that support you in your plate and situation. And every time we see one that opposes makes you feel guilty about your situation get out your phone and pull up your back ups. There’s no meme on Facebook or any other social media for that matter that can identify with the struggles that we here in July. We are not in the range of normal. There is an a single individual here who I have met who isn’t kind a good and decent, that’s why were all here because we are kind good and decent people travelled with our children for one reason or another.</p><p></p><p>Whether we are dealing with mental health, drug addiction or both combined the struggle is so very very eeal for all of us. The FOG fear obligation and guilt isn’t that what derives from a good parents heart, we fear for our children we are obligated to support them through their difficult times and when we aren’t able to do this with a positive outcome here comes the guilt trained fully loaded and on the fast track. When we were heavily burdened with the FOG our family therapist assigned a movie for us to go see it was called The Glass Castle, Once we had seen the movie and went back to her therapist and we recognized very much so the good people can raise difficult children just as much is really bad people can raise amazing children. Ultimately her therapist pointed out to us that we are very smug as parents to think that we have any control over how our children process and come through this world and behave. She stated the Example of multiple siblings so many are so vastly different yet raised by the same parents in the same environment in the same way. And a very polite way my dearest Penney get over this guilt. It’s not you. You love your son. Those things are incredibly obvious.</p><p> Example of multiple siblings so many are so vastly different yet raised by the same parents in the same environment in the same way. And a very polite way my dearest Penney get over this guilt. It’s not you. You love your son. Those things are incredibly obvious. </p><p>Not being able to fix what is broken with our children is the hardest and I mean the hardest thing to process and live through. But live through it we do and we must find the Kerge somewhere deep within our soul to move our lives and the rest of our children’s livesForward in a positive healthy fashion. That said my son is my only child. It has been hard for me to find a healthy way to manage through this situation and to shed the fear of the obligation of the guilt. Some days I’m better at it than others. </p><p>About the enabling we are not perfect the world is not perfect there have been so many times I have set solid boundaries and completely in at Hurley field to keep them in place. I will say my tired but true line we all can only do what our heart can manage to endure.</p><p>Hang in there hope with no expectations as a challenge but it can be done. Keep coming back we’re all here for you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Littleboylost, post: 739656, member: 21895"] Hi Penny I’m just catching up on this thread and there some wonderful advice already given her. I will be brief but to the point. Collect an entire set of posterior statements that support you in your plate and situation. And every time we see one that opposes makes you feel guilty about your situation get out your phone and pull up your back ups. There’s no meme on Facebook or any other social media for that matter that can identify with the struggles that we here in July. We are not in the range of normal. There is an a single individual here who I have met who isn’t kind a good and decent, that’s why were all here because we are kind good and decent people travelled with our children for one reason or another. Whether we are dealing with mental health, drug addiction or both combined the struggle is so very very eeal for all of us. The FOG fear obligation and guilt isn’t that what derives from a good parents heart, we fear for our children we are obligated to support them through their difficult times and when we aren’t able to do this with a positive outcome here comes the guilt trained fully loaded and on the fast track. When we were heavily burdened with the FOG our family therapist assigned a movie for us to go see it was called The Glass Castle, Once we had seen the movie and went back to her therapist and we recognized very much so the good people can raise difficult children just as much is really bad people can raise amazing children. Ultimately her therapist pointed out to us that we are very smug as parents to think that we have any control over how our children process and come through this world and behave. She stated the Example of multiple siblings so many are so vastly different yet raised by the same parents in the same environment in the same way. And a very polite way my dearest Penney get over this guilt. It’s not you. You love your son. Those things are incredibly obvious. Example of multiple siblings so many are so vastly different yet raised by the same parents in the same environment in the same way. And a very polite way my dearest Penney get over this guilt. It’s not you. You love your son. Those things are incredibly obvious. Not being able to fix what is broken with our children is the hardest and I mean the hardest thing to process and live through. But live through it we do and we must find the Kerge somewhere deep within our soul to move our lives and the rest of our children’s livesForward in a positive healthy fashion. That said my son is my only child. It has been hard for me to find a healthy way to manage through this situation and to shed the fear of the obligation of the guilt. Some days I’m better at it than others. About the enabling we are not perfect the world is not perfect there have been so many times I have set solid boundaries and completely in at Hurley field to keep them in place. I will say my tired but true line we all can only do what our heart can manage to endure. Hang in there hope with no expectations as a challenge but it can be done. Keep coming back we’re all here for you. [/QUOTE]
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