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Just need to get this off my chest - husband vent
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<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 559003" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>LOL Janet - actually, the reason the *almost* got put in there a couple of years ago was because Star went on one of her *wonderful* riffs about how I was married to Christ. It was hysterical, but in a nod to her wit, I threw that in there. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /></p><p></p><p>Final diagnosis was "palpitations," i.e. he had another panic attack.</p><p></p><p>Lisa, you were in my thoughts last night as I mentally ranted and raved about this. Logically, I know. It's impossible right now to swallow emotionally. </p><p> </p><p>I know I can't change him - I don't want to. The man loves me beyond reason, still, after all these years. I have no idea why.... I'm no walk in the park - I'm cranky, depressed, opinionated, and not terribly flexible. I'm also sorely lacking in the empathy dept when it comes to him and his ailments. But I really want him to stop taking us on this roller coaster. Diva was a mess last night and I wasn't terribly comforting to her - just assured her that he was fine, but.... I knew she was ticked at me for not being with- him.</p><p></p><p>Couples therapy - he won't buy into it. He's old-school, mental/emotional issues are a sign of weakness. 15 years of therapy with- thank you didn't help that attitude (makes me again amazed that we survived that whole period of our lives). He would do it, for me, but he wouldn't buy into it. </p><p></p><p>Bariatric surgery - I don't want to insult anyone so I won't go into my thoughts on it, and I do know we've had at least 1 member that it worked for. But if he were to choose that route, I'd be pretty ticked. I should mention he lost 75 pounds on WW about 5 years ago. Did really well. Hated every minute of it. Gained back 75+ when he went off it. He *can* lose the weight, he just doesn't want to stop eating the junk. It's like his knee - he's got a knee that is in bad shape. He, for some unimaginable reason, thinks a knee replacement will solve his problems. I think putting a new knee in a 300+ pound man who is in horrible physical shape is just a really bad idea - and I can't even begin to describe my feelings of resentment that I will be expected to nurse him back to health when he's not doing a lick of proactive work. I mean, the lift I use to get Boo in/out of bed won't work with- husband because he's just too darn big.</p><p></p><p>He got a rx for Xanax last time, but won't take it ("I'm *not* having panic attacks. There's something physically wrong with me.") </p><p></p><p>I just don't get the mentality of not taking care of yourself but then expecting a dr. to have a simple "fix" that will require no effort on his part. I mean, holy cow - has the man not learned *anything* in our 23 years of dealing with- doctors who are *complete* idiots????? Maybe I'm crazy, but between Boo and thank you, I've decided the *last* thing I would do is deal with an MD for anything.</p><p></p><p>Sigh.... I don't know. I have to either find a way to make peace or leave. Really the only 2 viable options. Both inhale forcefully. </p><p></p><p>I'm heading off to Normal for the weekend for a band contest. (Love saying that - "I'm going to Normal" - because, really, how many of us ever get to go anywhere near "normal"????? <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/Graemlins/rofl.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":rofl:" title="rofl :rofl:" data-shortname=":rofl:" />) husband will be here with Wee and Boo. I'm just going to Scarlet O'Hara it for now.</p><p></p><p>Thanks so much for listening. I know I need to get this straight in my head, cuz he's not going to change. </p><p></p><p>husband as a difficult child.... interesting concept. I guess difficult children come with- all kinds of behaviors, LOL - he's the *last* guy you'd classify as a difficult child. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /></p><p></p><p>Thanks guys.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 559003, member: 8"] LOL Janet - actually, the reason the *almost* got put in there a couple of years ago was because Star went on one of her *wonderful* riffs about how I was married to Christ. It was hysterical, but in a nod to her wit, I threw that in there. :winking: Final diagnosis was "palpitations," i.e. he had another panic attack. Lisa, you were in my thoughts last night as I mentally ranted and raved about this. Logically, I know. It's impossible right now to swallow emotionally. I know I can't change him - I don't want to. The man loves me beyond reason, still, after all these years. I have no idea why.... I'm no walk in the park - I'm cranky, depressed, opinionated, and not terribly flexible. I'm also sorely lacking in the empathy dept when it comes to him and his ailments. But I really want him to stop taking us on this roller coaster. Diva was a mess last night and I wasn't terribly comforting to her - just assured her that he was fine, but.... I knew she was ticked at me for not being with- him. Couples therapy - he won't buy into it. He's old-school, mental/emotional issues are a sign of weakness. 15 years of therapy with- thank you didn't help that attitude (makes me again amazed that we survived that whole period of our lives). He would do it, for me, but he wouldn't buy into it. Bariatric surgery - I don't want to insult anyone so I won't go into my thoughts on it, and I do know we've had at least 1 member that it worked for. But if he were to choose that route, I'd be pretty ticked. I should mention he lost 75 pounds on WW about 5 years ago. Did really well. Hated every minute of it. Gained back 75+ when he went off it. He *can* lose the weight, he just doesn't want to stop eating the junk. It's like his knee - he's got a knee that is in bad shape. He, for some unimaginable reason, thinks a knee replacement will solve his problems. I think putting a new knee in a 300+ pound man who is in horrible physical shape is just a really bad idea - and I can't even begin to describe my feelings of resentment that I will be expected to nurse him back to health when he's not doing a lick of proactive work. I mean, the lift I use to get Boo in/out of bed won't work with- husband because he's just too darn big. He got a rx for Xanax last time, but won't take it ("I'm *not* having panic attacks. There's something physically wrong with me.") I just don't get the mentality of not taking care of yourself but then expecting a dr. to have a simple "fix" that will require no effort on his part. I mean, holy cow - has the man not learned *anything* in our 23 years of dealing with- doctors who are *complete* idiots????? Maybe I'm crazy, but between Boo and thank you, I've decided the *last* thing I would do is deal with an MD for anything. Sigh.... I don't know. I have to either find a way to make peace or leave. Really the only 2 viable options. Both inhale forcefully. I'm heading off to Normal for the weekend for a band contest. (Love saying that - "I'm going to Normal" - because, really, how many of us ever get to go anywhere near "normal"????? :rofl:) husband will be here with Wee and Boo. I'm just going to Scarlet O'Hara it for now. Thanks so much for listening. I know I need to get this straight in my head, cuz he's not going to change. husband as a difficult child.... interesting concept. I guess difficult children come with- all kinds of behaviors, LOL - he's the *last* guy you'd classify as a difficult child. :winking: Thanks guys. [/QUOTE]
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