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Just Need to Vent/So exhausted
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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 368453" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>Welcome.</p><p>I'm sorry you had to find us but glad you did.</p><p>You've gotten some great ideas and advice here.</p><p> </p><p>I would add that your daughter must have a strict routine and lots of sleep. She will be much more stable with-a good sleep routine.</p><p> </p><p>You are lucky to know that your husband and his father are bipolar. That is a big help with-a diagnosis. Yes, it starts out as ODD and ADHD, usually. Pretty typical. I have a bipolar friend who was so hyper when he was little, that the teachers came up with-the idea to build a mini-wall, like a Japanese screen, around him, so he wouldn't distract the other students. Obviously, he was undx'd but hey, whatever works. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p> </p><p>Definitely, have your daughter seen by a specialist (you'll have to get a friend to help you with-transportation and gas ... maybe your church can help?) and get her on some medications. Any dr worth his/her weight will start out with-a very small dose. You can read the signatures here, and do online searches to see what typical dosages are. </p><p> </p><p>Do NOT beat yourself up for being a bad parent. You've been dealt a hand that is extremely difficult. You have a Herculean task. The fact that you have already done so much research and that you found this board speaks volumes. Congratulate yourself on surviving so far and on being intelligent and able to research!</p><p> </p><p>I would recommed <strong>The Manipulative Child</strong>, by Swihart and Cotter. It has some blunt and scary ideas that will make you angry (they sure made me angry) but in the end, they are right. Read the section about how adults will tiptoe around these kids to "keep the peace." Avoidance will get you nowhere. You're teaching your child to control you. It's better to do the hard work now than later.</p><p> </p><p>I know that sounds difficult, if not insurmountable, especially since you are emotionally exhausted already. But with-more counseling, and Al Anon, which you can go to because of your husband's history, is GREAT for detachment issues, and it's FREE, you will find lots of support and ideas. </p><p> </p><p>Remember to take time for yourself. Go outside, now that it's summer, and breathe in the fresh air and enjoy the sunshine, even if it's only for 10 min.</p><p> </p><p>Choose your battles with-your daughter. For example, if she wants to wear a certain outfit and you'd prefer something else, let her wear it anyway. It's just not worth it. </p><p> </p><p>Welcome.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 368453, member: 3419"] Welcome. I'm sorry you had to find us but glad you did. You've gotten some great ideas and advice here. I would add that your daughter must have a strict routine and lots of sleep. She will be much more stable with-a good sleep routine. You are lucky to know that your husband and his father are bipolar. That is a big help with-a diagnosis. Yes, it starts out as ODD and ADHD, usually. Pretty typical. I have a bipolar friend who was so hyper when he was little, that the teachers came up with-the idea to build a mini-wall, like a Japanese screen, around him, so he wouldn't distract the other students. Obviously, he was undx'd but hey, whatever works. :) Definitely, have your daughter seen by a specialist (you'll have to get a friend to help you with-transportation and gas ... maybe your church can help?) and get her on some medications. Any dr worth his/her weight will start out with-a very small dose. You can read the signatures here, and do online searches to see what typical dosages are. Do NOT beat yourself up for being a bad parent. You've been dealt a hand that is extremely difficult. You have a Herculean task. The fact that you have already done so much research and that you found this board speaks volumes. Congratulate yourself on surviving so far and on being intelligent and able to research! I would recommed [B]The Manipulative Child[/B], by Swihart and Cotter. It has some blunt and scary ideas that will make you angry (they sure made me angry) but in the end, they are right. Read the section about how adults will tiptoe around these kids to "keep the peace." Avoidance will get you nowhere. You're teaching your child to control you. It's better to do the hard work now than later. I know that sounds difficult, if not insurmountable, especially since you are emotionally exhausted already. But with-more counseling, and Al Anon, which you can go to because of your husband's history, is GREAT for detachment issues, and it's FREE, you will find lots of support and ideas. Remember to take time for yourself. Go outside, now that it's summer, and breathe in the fresh air and enjoy the sunshine, even if it's only for 10 min. Choose your battles with-your daughter. For example, if she wants to wear a certain outfit and you'd prefer something else, let her wear it anyway. It's just not worth it. Welcome. [/QUOTE]
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