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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 368459" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Welcome!!! I am sorry things are so rough right now. You sure have found the right place!</p><p></p><p>I know you do not want to medicate your child. No one does. The problems your daughter has are likely caused by chemical problems in her brain. Sadly it is almost never something that can be helped significantly without medication. medications are scary. Having our children grow up with these problems untreated is even scarier, or it is to many of us. Think about how little control she has now, how intense and physical her rages are. Then imagine her at 12 or 14. She will likely be as big as you are, or close, and much stronger. Her rages will be exponentially worse if she doesn't get help. It is almost impossible to balance the chemicals in her body, or change them whatever ways the medications do, without medications. </p><p></p><p>I saw some figures about a month ago that stated that Bipolar has a 30% mortality rate. Those deaths are largely caused through suicide. We often forget this as we go about life with a loved on who is bipolar. Which risk is bigger, the risk from the medications or the risk of suicide/death from bipolar? I am NOT saying this to scare you. I KNOW how scary it is to have a child try to kill himself. My son tried at age 7 to kill himself and it was one of the most awful, painful, hideous things I have ever experienced. Having had the entire family survive that, we felt the risk of suicide far outweighed the risk of side effects, even death from the medications. We also felt that if our difficult child was himself he would PREFER the risk of medications to the awful way he felt.</p><p></p><p>Your daughter is not happy. The rages are NOT something she has any control over. Until the chemical problems of bipolar are treated (even if they cannot be "fixed" or "cured") she has little chance of ever really being happy, of learning, of becoming a productive person. It can take a LONG time to find the right medications and dosages and it is a very difficult process. But it can also give her a real chance of having a happier, healthier life. </p><p></p><p>That being said, the decision is TOTALLY yours and one of the most AWESOME and INCREDIBLE things about this site is that we will support you even if you make different choices than we do!!</p><p></p><p>It would be an excellent idea for you to do a Parent Report. Years ago some of the moms here worked out an outline for a document that would keep all the info about a child in ONE place. It has everything, your hopes and dreams and fears, doctor, hospital and laboratory info, school info, etc... It lets you communicate easily with docs and others and even makes filling out those hundreds of forms for each new doctor a lot easier! Here is a link to it: <a href="http://www.conductdisorders.com/forum/f7/parent-input-multi-disciplinary-evaluation-10/" target="_blank">http://www.conductdisorders.com/forum/f7/parent-input-multi-disciplinary-evaluation-10/</a></p><p></p><p>(You can find it, and lots more helpful info like the abbreviations, on the FAQ/Board Help section of this site.)</p><p></p><p>Have you read "The Bipolar Child" by Papalous? If you have not, you really NEED to. The section on medication is incredibly helpful. It explains why you should start treatment with mood stabilizers if bipolar or mood disorders are diagnosis'd or suspected. medications for MANY other conditions can cause cycling! It can take two mood stabilizers and even an antipsychotic medication to stabilize the moods. Until the moods are stable, treating other problems like adhd is rarely successful. The medications for adhd just make things much worse. After moods are stable if there are still symptoms of adhd then a small amt of stimulants can be trialed. Same for other medications. If you start with stims or other medications, it is impossible to get the moods to be stable. The book explains this VERY clearly and is a wonderful resource for parents, teachers, and "experts".</p><p></p><p>Did you know that often the symptoms that are thought to be adhd/odd/depression/etc... go away when moods are stablized with-o the need for other medications? What is seen as adhd or whatever is often actually a symptom of the bipolar. This is true for many many many childhood mental illnesses. It is one reason that it is best to start with bipolar medications and once they are right move on to treat other symptoms.</p><p></p><p>There are some other books that might be very very helpful to you. The Explosive Child by Ross Greene is our favorite parenting book. It suggests a way of parenting that seems counter-intuitive but is quite effective with difficult children. It is a fairly easy read and can really help keep things calm(er?) at home. Parenting with Love and Logic by Fay and Cline is another AWESOME book. There are many L&L books that address various stages of a child's life and various problems. I recommend going to the website (<a href="http://www.loveandlogic.com" target="_blank">www.loveandlogic.com</a>) and looking at the different books. L&L focuses on natural and logical consequences administered while strengthening the loving bond between parent and child. It is VERY effective. </p><p></p><p>You also might find help in "What Your Explosive Child is Trying to Tell You" by Dr. Riley. It is relatively new and very very helpful.</p><p></p><p>Welcome to our group! I hope some of these things help in some way. Use what works for you and ignore the rest. </p><p></p><p>Sending many many hugs!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 368459, member: 1233"] Welcome!!! I am sorry things are so rough right now. You sure have found the right place! I know you do not want to medicate your child. No one does. The problems your daughter has are likely caused by chemical problems in her brain. Sadly it is almost never something that can be helped significantly without medication. medications are scary. Having our children grow up with these problems untreated is even scarier, or it is to many of us. Think about how little control she has now, how intense and physical her rages are. Then imagine her at 12 or 14. She will likely be as big as you are, or close, and much stronger. Her rages will be exponentially worse if she doesn't get help. It is almost impossible to balance the chemicals in her body, or change them whatever ways the medications do, without medications. I saw some figures about a month ago that stated that Bipolar has a 30% mortality rate. Those deaths are largely caused through suicide. We often forget this as we go about life with a loved on who is bipolar. Which risk is bigger, the risk from the medications or the risk of suicide/death from bipolar? I am NOT saying this to scare you. I KNOW how scary it is to have a child try to kill himself. My son tried at age 7 to kill himself and it was one of the most awful, painful, hideous things I have ever experienced. Having had the entire family survive that, we felt the risk of suicide far outweighed the risk of side effects, even death from the medications. We also felt that if our difficult child was himself he would PREFER the risk of medications to the awful way he felt. Your daughter is not happy. The rages are NOT something she has any control over. Until the chemical problems of bipolar are treated (even if they cannot be "fixed" or "cured") she has little chance of ever really being happy, of learning, of becoming a productive person. It can take a LONG time to find the right medications and dosages and it is a very difficult process. But it can also give her a real chance of having a happier, healthier life. That being said, the decision is TOTALLY yours and one of the most AWESOME and INCREDIBLE things about this site is that we will support you even if you make different choices than we do!! It would be an excellent idea for you to do a Parent Report. Years ago some of the moms here worked out an outline for a document that would keep all the info about a child in ONE place. It has everything, your hopes and dreams and fears, doctor, hospital and laboratory info, school info, etc... It lets you communicate easily with docs and others and even makes filling out those hundreds of forms for each new doctor a lot easier! Here is a link to it: [url]http://www.conductdisorders.com/forum/f7/parent-input-multi-disciplinary-evaluation-10/[/url] (You can find it, and lots more helpful info like the abbreviations, on the FAQ/Board Help section of this site.) Have you read "The Bipolar Child" by Papalous? If you have not, you really NEED to. The section on medication is incredibly helpful. It explains why you should start treatment with mood stabilizers if bipolar or mood disorders are diagnosis'd or suspected. medications for MANY other conditions can cause cycling! It can take two mood stabilizers and even an antipsychotic medication to stabilize the moods. Until the moods are stable, treating other problems like adhd is rarely successful. The medications for adhd just make things much worse. After moods are stable if there are still symptoms of adhd then a small amt of stimulants can be trialed. Same for other medications. If you start with stims or other medications, it is impossible to get the moods to be stable. The book explains this VERY clearly and is a wonderful resource for parents, teachers, and "experts". Did you know that often the symptoms that are thought to be adhd/odd/depression/etc... go away when moods are stablized with-o the need for other medications? What is seen as adhd or whatever is often actually a symptom of the bipolar. This is true for many many many childhood mental illnesses. It is one reason that it is best to start with bipolar medications and once they are right move on to treat other symptoms. There are some other books that might be very very helpful to you. The Explosive Child by Ross Greene is our favorite parenting book. It suggests a way of parenting that seems counter-intuitive but is quite effective with difficult children. It is a fairly easy read and can really help keep things calm(er?) at home. Parenting with Love and Logic by Fay and Cline is another AWESOME book. There are many L&L books that address various stages of a child's life and various problems. I recommend going to the website ([url]www.loveandlogic.com[/url]) and looking at the different books. L&L focuses on natural and logical consequences administered while strengthening the loving bond between parent and child. It is VERY effective. You also might find help in "What Your Explosive Child is Trying to Tell You" by Dr. Riley. It is relatively new and very very helpful. Welcome to our group! I hope some of these things help in some way. Use what works for you and ignore the rest. Sending many many hugs! [/QUOTE]
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