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Just seeking peace
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 663180" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>Welcome SP,</p><p></p><p>I'm glad you found our little corner of the world.</p><p></p><p>There are no easy answers for what you are dealing with but what I can tell you is this:</p><p>It's not your fault.</p><p>You have nothing to feel guilty about.</p><p>All the emotions you feel, love, anger & confusion are normal when dealing with a D C</p><p>Genetics play a huge role. It's not just about nurture, nature has a part in this.</p><p></p><p>From what you have shared it's clear that you have done all you can to get her the help she needs. There comes a point when you have to let go and release her to be responsible for herself.</p><p>There are many people in the world and some are here on this site that have Borderline (BPD) and function quite well.</p><p>It comes down to an individual choice. Your daughter needs to decide for herself that she needs to put forth the effort. You cannot do this for her.</p><p></p><p>All of us parents regardless of the problems we have had with our D C's have shared the same feelings of wanting to make everything ok for our children. We all have had our hearts broken because of their behavior. We get it.</p><p>Something to think about; suppose you did take care of your daughter, you made sure she took her medications, went to therapy, drove her to work, you know, everything and you have done this for let's say 10 to 15 years. Now, remove yourself from that picture. What happens to your daughter if something happens to you?? None of us will live forever.</p><p>It's much better for our adult children to face the realities of life on their own, that is how they learn.</p><p>There is a good article on detachment at the top Parent Emeritus.</p><p>Detaching is vital for our own survival. It takes time and effort. Don't confuse this with not loving your daughter but it does mean that you love yourself enough to let go.</p><p></p><p>Others will come along and chime in.</p><p></p><p>Read through other posts as there are years of experience within these pages.</p><p></p><p>Hang in there!! I'm glad you're here.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 663180, member: 18516"] Welcome SP, I'm glad you found our little corner of the world. There are no easy answers for what you are dealing with but what I can tell you is this: It's not your fault. You have nothing to feel guilty about. All the emotions you feel, love, anger & confusion are normal when dealing with a D C Genetics play a huge role. It's not just about nurture, nature has a part in this. From what you have shared it's clear that you have done all you can to get her the help she needs. There comes a point when you have to let go and release her to be responsible for herself. There are many people in the world and some are here on this site that have Borderline (BPD) and function quite well. It comes down to an individual choice. Your daughter needs to decide for herself that she needs to put forth the effort. You cannot do this for her. All of us parents regardless of the problems we have had with our D C's have shared the same feelings of wanting to make everything ok for our children. We all have had our hearts broken because of their behavior. We get it. Something to think about; suppose you did take care of your daughter, you made sure she took her medications, went to therapy, drove her to work, you know, everything and you have done this for let's say 10 to 15 years. Now, remove yourself from that picture. What happens to your daughter if something happens to you?? None of us will live forever. It's much better for our adult children to face the realities of life on their own, that is how they learn. There is a good article on detachment at the top Parent Emeritus. Detaching is vital for our own survival. It takes time and effort. Don't confuse this with not loving your daughter but it does mean that you love yourself enough to let go. Others will come along and chime in. Read through other posts as there are years of experience within these pages. Hang in there!! I'm glad you're here. [/QUOTE]
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