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Just stunned by my husband.
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<blockquote data-quote="timer lady" data-source="post: 134268" data-attributes="member: 393"><p><strong>Susie,</strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong>husband & I spent a good 9 months in couples counseling over many of the tweedle antics we endured & our individual perception of those very antics. We argued, cried, laughed & slowly came to an agreement.</strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong>That agreement was, from that point forward, support one another in decisions made on our children's behalf - more importantly, let go of the past. If we couldn't let go of what happened in the past, we would never move forward. </strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong>The counselor was good - he allowed each of us to get our gripes out - to yell, complain, & tell the world (each other) how unfair it was that so & so did such & such.....outside of the office to others that wasn't on our "approved" b!tch list was only hurtful to our marriage. However, we did need at least one person outside of the counselor that we could bounce ideas off of & with who we could have a b!tch feast.</strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong>I have to tell you Miss Susie, this has been a work in progress. A difficult child brings so many unknowns into a marriage. Brings so many situations which we, as parents, have to make decisions or react with-o any time for real thought. That's why it's so important that you & husband as a couple sit down during a quiet period & work out any worst case scenario you can think of ahead of time & what your joint decision will be. </strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong>I gotta tell you this took husband & I hours & hours; there were many tears & heartaches working this out. There would have been any way, but at least we knew ahead of time what our course of action will be - the last time we had to pull that out for wm, the emotion just wasn't there anymore. We had all ready processed it. </strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong>We're doing the same for kt now, even as we speak.</strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong>In the meantime, you need the help for the PTSD - I would expect your entire family does. Your difficult child was equal opportunity with the amount of trauma he spread about the family.</strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong>I wouldn't react to husband's responses over this period in your family's life. Unless you & husband are willing to work this out together with an objective counsellor - I'd let go of husband's response. It may been his way of survival. His way to comprehend - understand that his son would do these kinds of things. Again, I'm not making excuses or judgements, that's not my place - just a possible thought for you.</strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong>(((hugs))) to you this early Friday morning. It's hard to start processing these past events after the dust has settled & you feel strong enough to look at things in a new light.</strong></p><p><strong></strong></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="timer lady, post: 134268, member: 393"] [B]Susie, husband & I spent a good 9 months in couples counseling over many of the tweedle antics we endured & our individual perception of those very antics. We argued, cried, laughed & slowly came to an agreement. That agreement was, from that point forward, support one another in decisions made on our children's behalf - more importantly, let go of the past. If we couldn't let go of what happened in the past, we would never move forward. The counselor was good - he allowed each of us to get our gripes out - to yell, complain, & tell the world (each other) how unfair it was that so & so did such & such.....outside of the office to others that wasn't on our "approved" b!tch list was only hurtful to our marriage. However, we did need at least one person outside of the counselor that we could bounce ideas off of & with who we could have a b!tch feast. I have to tell you Miss Susie, this has been a work in progress. A difficult child brings so many unknowns into a marriage. Brings so many situations which we, as parents, have to make decisions or react with-o any time for real thought. That's why it's so important that you & husband as a couple sit down during a quiet period & work out any worst case scenario you can think of ahead of time & what your joint decision will be. I gotta tell you this took husband & I hours & hours; there were many tears & heartaches working this out. There would have been any way, but at least we knew ahead of time what our course of action will be - the last time we had to pull that out for wm, the emotion just wasn't there anymore. We had all ready processed it. We're doing the same for kt now, even as we speak. In the meantime, you need the help for the PTSD - I would expect your entire family does. Your difficult child was equal opportunity with the amount of trauma he spread about the family. I wouldn't react to husband's responses over this period in your family's life. Unless you & husband are willing to work this out together with an objective counsellor - I'd let go of husband's response. It may been his way of survival. His way to comprehend - understand that his son would do these kinds of things. Again, I'm not making excuses or judgements, that's not my place - just a possible thought for you. (((hugs))) to you this early Friday morning. It's hard to start processing these past events after the dust has settled & you feel strong enough to look at things in a new light. [/B] [/QUOTE]
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