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Just stunned by my husband.
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 134517" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Susie, </p><p></p><p>In Dudes life I can count on one hand how many times I spanked him with a belt. It too made me sick and guilt ridden. The good think there is that you KNEW better. You NOW have other coping skills that you put into effect, and you pass those skills along to others here. Give yourself some credit for being able to deal with a a child like yours without physical retaliation. I think back and honest to God I wonder HOW I ever found the strength to keep from literally ripping his head off. And then I think - MY GOD - I WAS /AM a good Mom. Look what I did. Look what I did NOT do. </p><p></p><p>In our case DF told Dude very matter of fact that should he ever hit or raise a hand to me - the police would be called. Dude over the years skirted the edges of that but only once did he ever raise a hand - and at that moment DF was on the phone calling the police and looked at me like - DO NOT DARE say IT IS OK. When Dude came home (via police) the cop and DF and I stood there and DF said "I think you owe your Mom an apology for raising a hand to her - but not now" and a few days later I did get a serious apology. After meeting us - the cop sort of jokingly said to DF - I think calling us for raising a hand was a good idea and DF said We have warned him for years to not do such a thing because it's not right - and the cop (no kidding) said - "Well I mean this in the most respectful way about your 'wife' but I think if she took a mind to - she could hurt a man." and DF said - THATS WHY I LISTEN - and they both got a good laugh. (I did not find it amusing) lol </p><p></p><p>Don't beat yourself up - there are parents who still beat their children and think it's a spare the rod spoil the child thing - and while it is - I am sure God did NOT mean - go get your Dads leather belt and whail for 2 minutes on your child." A swat is usually sufficient - Dont eat the guilt - live the knowledge you know better. </p><p></p><p>Hugs</p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 134517, member: 4964"] Susie, In Dudes life I can count on one hand how many times I spanked him with a belt. It too made me sick and guilt ridden. The good think there is that you KNEW better. You NOW have other coping skills that you put into effect, and you pass those skills along to others here. Give yourself some credit for being able to deal with a a child like yours without physical retaliation. I think back and honest to God I wonder HOW I ever found the strength to keep from literally ripping his head off. And then I think - MY GOD - I WAS /AM a good Mom. Look what I did. Look what I did NOT do. In our case DF told Dude very matter of fact that should he ever hit or raise a hand to me - the police would be called. Dude over the years skirted the edges of that but only once did he ever raise a hand - and at that moment DF was on the phone calling the police and looked at me like - DO NOT DARE say IT IS OK. When Dude came home (via police) the cop and DF and I stood there and DF said "I think you owe your Mom an apology for raising a hand to her - but not now" and a few days later I did get a serious apology. After meeting us - the cop sort of jokingly said to DF - I think calling us for raising a hand was a good idea and DF said We have warned him for years to not do such a thing because it's not right - and the cop (no kidding) said - "Well I mean this in the most respectful way about your 'wife' but I think if she took a mind to - she could hurt a man." and DF said - THATS WHY I LISTEN - and they both got a good laugh. (I did not find it amusing) lol Don't beat yourself up - there are parents who still beat their children and think it's a spare the rod spoil the child thing - and while it is - I am sure God did NOT mean - go get your Dads leather belt and whail for 2 minutes on your child." A swat is usually sufficient - Dont eat the guilt - live the knowledge you know better. Hugs Star [/QUOTE]
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