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Just touching base...
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<blockquote data-quote="everywoman" data-source="post: 266960" data-attributes="member: 1436"><p>I so feel for you KLMNO---I know you have done everything to try and help difficult child---you have not failed him. You are in a position right now where, unfortunately, you have little or no control. Don't take this the wrong way, but you see to me to be a lot like I used to be---a "control freak." I was awful. And I know how hard it is to feel like it is to loose that control and feeling helpless and hopeless. I thought I had to know everything about everything, all the time. I thought I could fix difficult child if I only could control everything. As he aged, and struggled against my control, things only got worse. I finally, when he was 19 and in big boy jail, let go of my control. Now, I understand that he was 19. He was an adult. And your son is only 14, and still a child, but had I stopped trying so hard when he was younger, maybe he would have learned then what he learned at 19---that he had to change to change his path in life. You can not control what they require you to do. You can control whether you sign the agreement or not. You can't control what they do if you refuse to sign. You can't control difficult child's sentence. You can't control what happens to him in Department of Juvenile Justice custody. Focus on what you can control, and let the rest of it go or you will end up making yourself sick or worse.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="everywoman, post: 266960, member: 1436"] I so feel for you KLMNO---I know you have done everything to try and help difficult child---you have not failed him. You are in a position right now where, unfortunately, you have little or no control. Don't take this the wrong way, but you see to me to be a lot like I used to be---a "control freak." I was awful. And I know how hard it is to feel like it is to loose that control and feeling helpless and hopeless. I thought I had to know everything about everything, all the time. I thought I could fix difficult child if I only could control everything. As he aged, and struggled against my control, things only got worse. I finally, when he was 19 and in big boy jail, let go of my control. Now, I understand that he was 19. He was an adult. And your son is only 14, and still a child, but had I stopped trying so hard when he was younger, maybe he would have learned then what he learned at 19---that he had to change to change his path in life. You can not control what they require you to do. You can control whether you sign the agreement or not. You can't control what they do if you refuse to sign. You can't control difficult child's sentence. You can't control what happens to him in Department of Juvenile Justice custody. Focus on what you can control, and let the rest of it go or you will end up making yourself sick or worse. [/QUOTE]
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