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Parent Emeritus
Just when I thought he was doing better, 17-year-old difficult child was arrested
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 638073" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I was responsible too. But she either paid me or she had absolutely no access to my car. She choose to pay me and she had to pay up BEFORE I made the court payment. She couldn't say, "Oh, I'll pay you later." Yeah. Right. Suuuuuure. She knew I meant what I said so she paid me then I paid them. If she hadn't, the car keys would have been put into a lock box. I had done that to her before.</p><p></p><p>That's why I suggested the car scenario. In my case, my daughter knew I meant it so she didn't even try to whine about it. No law says we EVER, no matter what age they are, have to help our children get their driver's licenses, pay their insurance, put gas in or let them use our cars. She broke the law. She paid the consequences or there would be consequences anyway.</p><p></p><p>When you break the law, I am mean mommy. My husband is the son of a cop so she couldn't go to him either. Plus, he would back me up. We tended to stand strong as a couple.</p><p></p><p>If you're wondering if daughter held it against me, absolutely not. We are very close...just Skyped with her and my granddaughter today and we talk all the time. She is, in fact, very glad we made drug using hard for her or she says she may not have quit. I don't believe we should make it easy for our kids to break the law. That just leads to their own misery in the end. And if we don't demand respect...the same respect we give them when we address them...then they WON'T respect us. It's a two way street. We talk to the kids with respect and don't criticize them and we expect the same and it works great.Well, except for 36 and I'll hang up on him if he is reverting back to his old ways.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 638073, member: 1550"] I was responsible too. But she either paid me or she had absolutely no access to my car. She choose to pay me and she had to pay up BEFORE I made the court payment. She couldn't say, "Oh, I'll pay you later." Yeah. Right. Suuuuuure. She knew I meant what I said so she paid me then I paid them. If she hadn't, the car keys would have been put into a lock box. I had done that to her before. That's why I suggested the car scenario. In my case, my daughter knew I meant it so she didn't even try to whine about it. No law says we EVER, no matter what age they are, have to help our children get their driver's licenses, pay their insurance, put gas in or let them use our cars. She broke the law. She paid the consequences or there would be consequences anyway. When you break the law, I am mean mommy. My husband is the son of a cop so she couldn't go to him either. Plus, he would back me up. We tended to stand strong as a couple. If you're wondering if daughter held it against me, absolutely not. We are very close...just Skyped with her and my granddaughter today and we talk all the time. She is, in fact, very glad we made drug using hard for her or she says she may not have quit. I don't believe we should make it easy for our kids to break the law. That just leads to their own misery in the end. And if we don't demand respect...the same respect we give them when we address them...then they WON'T respect us. It's a two way street. We talk to the kids with respect and don't criticize them and we expect the same and it works great.Well, except for 36 and I'll hang up on him if he is reverting back to his old ways. [/QUOTE]
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Just when I thought he was doing better, 17-year-old difficult child was arrested
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