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juvenile court question
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<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 355957" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>klmno - sorry if this sounds blunt, but why on earth would you consider not going? How is that going to benefit difficult child? He is 15, you are still responsible for him. You may not agree with- what the court recommends or what the PO/atty are planning, but ... again, how does removing yourself completely (and, I would guess, putting yourself at risk of your own legal problems) help difficult child?</p><p></p><p>I read your other thread, and I guess I'm confused. While I understand, and agree, that there should be consequences for the choices he has made, even if he served another X months in juvie *now* (as opposed to possibly later, though that is by no means etched in stone), is that going to help him? You most likely are still going to have to deal with the same old garbage down the road from him. </p><p></p><p>Maybe I'm ... too conformist. By virtue of difficult child becoming involved in the system as a minor, you have lost a lot of say in the matter. I won't debate fairness or rightness - I'm actually with you on a lot of it - but fairness and rightness are moot at this point. The fact is, as his mother and guardian, you are at the mercy of the court as well. </p><p></p><p>I would guess that the more time he spends locked up, the less likely it is he will be able to function as a law-abiding citizen. That may be the driving force behind his team doing everything they can to avoid another incarceration. Sure, they may not think now he will ever figure out how to follow rules, but he is only 15. I listened to Fran say for almost a decade that with age *does* come maturity, and she was right. May not be the degree of maturity we hoped for but... it is still there.</p><p></p><p>You are so adamantly against your family getting custody of difficult child, but I think if you don't comply you are setting up that very situation. You have to make a choice here. Do what is expected of you, as the court orders, or don't, knowing what the potential consequences of that are.</p><p></p><p>As a detached observer, it seems that the concern needs to be what is in difficult child's best interests, within the limitations and requirements that the court mandates. I just don't see how you not showing up or complying would be best for him... but, it's the choice you need to make and you certainly are in a better position to judge what is best.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 355957, member: 8"] klmno - sorry if this sounds blunt, but why on earth would you consider not going? How is that going to benefit difficult child? He is 15, you are still responsible for him. You may not agree with- what the court recommends or what the PO/atty are planning, but ... again, how does removing yourself completely (and, I would guess, putting yourself at risk of your own legal problems) help difficult child? I read your other thread, and I guess I'm confused. While I understand, and agree, that there should be consequences for the choices he has made, even if he served another X months in juvie *now* (as opposed to possibly later, though that is by no means etched in stone), is that going to help him? You most likely are still going to have to deal with the same old garbage down the road from him. Maybe I'm ... too conformist. By virtue of difficult child becoming involved in the system as a minor, you have lost a lot of say in the matter. I won't debate fairness or rightness - I'm actually with you on a lot of it - but fairness and rightness are moot at this point. The fact is, as his mother and guardian, you are at the mercy of the court as well. I would guess that the more time he spends locked up, the less likely it is he will be able to function as a law-abiding citizen. That may be the driving force behind his team doing everything they can to avoid another incarceration. Sure, they may not think now he will ever figure out how to follow rules, but he is only 15. I listened to Fran say for almost a decade that with age *does* come maturity, and she was right. May not be the degree of maturity we hoped for but... it is still there. You are so adamantly against your family getting custody of difficult child, but I think if you don't comply you are setting up that very situation. You have to make a choice here. Do what is expected of you, as the court orders, or don't, knowing what the potential consequences of that are. As a detached observer, it seems that the concern needs to be what is in difficult child's best interests, within the limitations and requirements that the court mandates. I just don't see how you not showing up or complying would be best for him... but, it's the choice you need to make and you certainly are in a better position to judge what is best. [/QUOTE]
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