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juvenile court question
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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 355959" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>I don't think it's in difficult child's best interest to come home under the circumstances they are proposing. Since I get no say in court, that's exactly what will happen if I'm there. I am seriously considering this because unfortunately, since they want to keep him in their system, they need to start considering that <strong>I</strong> might stop going along with this stuff. I might not be available. We did outpatient therapy for several years- it didn't work. They are the ones proposing to go back and try it again while expecting a different result. Am I willing to 1) go thru that again and have faith in it- especially after how difficult child acted this past month? 2) give difficult child more opportunity to mess up so then he gets recommitted for a longer period of time than he will now? I really am to a point where I feel guilty for cowering in to them out of fear while feeling like what they are doing is making him worse instead of just removing myself and detaching and reminding myself that whatever they decide to do with him, it's ALL their decision at that point. I'm sorry others don't get that. I'm sorry that they don't have anything available for a real transition for difficult child or even an ankle bracelet that they will recomomend or whatever. But there's no way I think it's in his best interest to go even further into the situation we were in in the past. I don't want him incarcerated but he is right now and I don't think that's my fault. I would like for him to get out and have a decent chance and have his head on straight and really try. Do I think letting him oout after a few weeks of detention, going to a 45 min therapist appointment and coming home with more emotions and anger stirred up is worth getting him out of detention now? No. I thought most were advocating to me not to let difficult child come home until better plans were made- I felt I had no choice. Now, the ONE thing that I told PO I would not do again just happens too be the ONLY thing they say they can do.</p><p></p><p>I've been trying to work with the system for 4 freaking years now- difficult child hasn't changed and according to what Department of Juvenile Justice thinks, he was apparently just manipulating the mental health avenue. I had told difficult child this was his last chance at home and I'm not willing to go back and do all that over. So now I'm supposed to say "oh, difficult child, all's forgiven since you sat in detention a few weeks, you can come home and we'll try outpatient therapy again and just go back to our "normal" and think he's going to behave, not manipulate me, obey the law, and respeect the rules any better? PO and def attny are about to throw the towel in on difficult child- I might already be there if this is the best they can come up with.</p><p></p><p>You know at difficult child's last trial- for pulling a knife on me- I'm the one who was blamed for it all without anyone ever giving a reason why they thought that (abuse or whatever) and they just tiried to get the mental health evaluation on me so I would be ordered to a therapist and psychiatrist and difficult child would come home without any punishment. Given that the only choices at that point were to go along with that or refuse and force them to choose between dss or Department of Juvenile Justice- they chose Department of Juvenile Justice. I still think that is the right decision. I think we are right at that point agaain and just like the other stuff- I'd already told difficult child that I was not willing to show up in court and get fingers pointed at me and orders for stuff, etc, when it wasn't me that broke the law again. He obviously doesn't believe that.</p><p></p><p>A lot of what MarcieMac said on the other thread is like what we have been going thru for 4 years. I'm not so sure I am strong enough to continue watching this, much less going along with it and living with it daily. If difficult child had been trying, it might be different. If he had come out of Department of Juvenile Justice with a BiPolar (BP) diagnosis, it most certainly would be different. </p><p></p><p>PO and def attny- well, neither one- called me back today. If one of them called me right this second I think I would tell them that I'm not willing to invest one more dollar or one more hour in their plans and I'm not willing to go to court and get ripped to shreds because this is the best they can come up with or that they have available and I think the idea most likely will make difficult child worse or allow him to dig himself in deeper.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 355959, member: 3699"] I don't think it's in difficult child's best interest to come home under the circumstances they are proposing. Since I get no say in court, that's exactly what will happen if I'm there. I am seriously considering this because unfortunately, since they want to keep him in their system, they need to start considering that [B]I[/B] might stop going along with this stuff. I might not be available. We did outpatient therapy for several years- it didn't work. They are the ones proposing to go back and try it again while expecting a different result. Am I willing to 1) go thru that again and have faith in it- especially after how difficult child acted this past month? 2) give difficult child more opportunity to mess up so then he gets recommitted for a longer period of time than he will now? I really am to a point where I feel guilty for cowering in to them out of fear while feeling like what they are doing is making him worse instead of just removing myself and detaching and reminding myself that whatever they decide to do with him, it's ALL their decision at that point. I'm sorry others don't get that. I'm sorry that they don't have anything available for a real transition for difficult child or even an ankle bracelet that they will recomomend or whatever. But there's no way I think it's in his best interest to go even further into the situation we were in in the past. I don't want him incarcerated but he is right now and I don't think that's my fault. I would like for him to get out and have a decent chance and have his head on straight and really try. Do I think letting him oout after a few weeks of detention, going to a 45 min therapist appointment and coming home with more emotions and anger stirred up is worth getting him out of detention now? No. I thought most were advocating to me not to let difficult child come home until better plans were made- I felt I had no choice. Now, the ONE thing that I told PO I would not do again just happens too be the ONLY thing they say they can do. I've been trying to work with the system for 4 freaking years now- difficult child hasn't changed and according to what Department of Juvenile Justice thinks, he was apparently just manipulating the mental health avenue. I had told difficult child this was his last chance at home and I'm not willing to go back and do all that over. So now I'm supposed to say "oh, difficult child, all's forgiven since you sat in detention a few weeks, you can come home and we'll try outpatient therapy again and just go back to our "normal" and think he's going to behave, not manipulate me, obey the law, and respeect the rules any better? PO and def attny are about to throw the towel in on difficult child- I might already be there if this is the best they can come up with. You know at difficult child's last trial- for pulling a knife on me- I'm the one who was blamed for it all without anyone ever giving a reason why they thought that (abuse or whatever) and they just tiried to get the mental health evaluation on me so I would be ordered to a therapist and psychiatrist and difficult child would come home without any punishment. Given that the only choices at that point were to go along with that or refuse and force them to choose between dss or Department of Juvenile Justice- they chose Department of Juvenile Justice. I still think that is the right decision. I think we are right at that point agaain and just like the other stuff- I'd already told difficult child that I was not willing to show up in court and get fingers pointed at me and orders for stuff, etc, when it wasn't me that broke the law again. He obviously doesn't believe that. A lot of what MarcieMac said on the other thread is like what we have been going thru for 4 years. I'm not so sure I am strong enough to continue watching this, much less going along with it and living with it daily. If difficult child had been trying, it might be different. If he had come out of Department of Juvenile Justice with a BiPolar (BP) diagnosis, it most certainly would be different. PO and def attny- well, neither one- called me back today. If one of them called me right this second I think I would tell them that I'm not willing to invest one more dollar or one more hour in their plans and I'm not willing to go to court and get ripped to shreds because this is the best they can come up with or that they have available and I think the idea most likely will make difficult child worse or allow him to dig himself in deeper. [/QUOTE]
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