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juvenile court question
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 355973" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I'm possibly stating the obvious here, but this has become so complex and confusing, especially for you in the middle of it, I think you need to sit down formally with a big sheet of paper (and preferably someone else with you to guide you) and work out all the likely courses of action and outcomes.</p><p></p><p>You draw up a sheet and list at the top COMING HOME, then FOSTER CARE then JAIL. If Residential Treatment Center (RTC) is an option, list that too. You might need a separate sheet of paper for each one. And you also need to include FOSTER CARE WITH UNCLE.</p><p>You then list the good things about each option, the bad things about each option and the other things, neither good nor bad, but possibly interesting.</p><p></p><p>After this you have to work out how likely each possibility is and what is needed to make it happen as well as what is needed to NOT make it happen. </p><p></p><p>I think ti is going to take all of this spread out before you, expressed simply, to help you work out your own best course of action.</p><p></p><p>WHat worries me about this right now - I don't know because I'm not there, but I get the feeling you've come partway along a good road and because there were problems, you're throwing in the towel at the wrong time. it may feel right to you (for reasons due to your past negative experiences) but it might happen to be the wrong time for difficult child and for everybody and everything in general (which, inevitably means, it is going to work out wrong for you in the long-term).</p><p></p><p>It's a sort of "throwing good money after bad" scenario, only we're talking about effort here as well.</p><p></p><p>Now, you could be making the right choice here. But this perhaps is the best way for you to know for sure.</p><p></p><p>This could be simply a case of a parent saying, "I've had it with this kid!" and turning their back, only to change their mind later on and say, "OK, come one back."</p><p></p><p>Part of drawing all this up in chart form, is to help you see how long-term a commitment may need to be, in order to get the outcome you want the most. It can also help you see the possible pitfalls before they land on your doorstep.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 355973, member: 1991"] I'm possibly stating the obvious here, but this has become so complex and confusing, especially for you in the middle of it, I think you need to sit down formally with a big sheet of paper (and preferably someone else with you to guide you) and work out all the likely courses of action and outcomes. You draw up a sheet and list at the top COMING HOME, then FOSTER CARE then JAIL. If Residential Treatment Center (RTC) is an option, list that too. You might need a separate sheet of paper for each one. And you also need to include FOSTER CARE WITH UNCLE. You then list the good things about each option, the bad things about each option and the other things, neither good nor bad, but possibly interesting. After this you have to work out how likely each possibility is and what is needed to make it happen as well as what is needed to NOT make it happen. I think ti is going to take all of this spread out before you, expressed simply, to help you work out your own best course of action. WHat worries me about this right now - I don't know because I'm not there, but I get the feeling you've come partway along a good road and because there were problems, you're throwing in the towel at the wrong time. it may feel right to you (for reasons due to your past negative experiences) but it might happen to be the wrong time for difficult child and for everybody and everything in general (which, inevitably means, it is going to work out wrong for you in the long-term). It's a sort of "throwing good money after bad" scenario, only we're talking about effort here as well. Now, you could be making the right choice here. But this perhaps is the best way for you to know for sure. This could be simply a case of a parent saying, "I've had it with this kid!" and turning their back, only to change their mind later on and say, "OK, come one back." Part of drawing all this up in chart form, is to help you see how long-term a commitment may need to be, in order to get the outcome you want the most. It can also help you see the possible pitfalls before they land on your doorstep. Marg [/QUOTE]
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