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kaboom!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 118957" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>Another vote to change that contract. If it says she can date a boy up to 2 years older than her, I'll guaranty that the age limit will be totally ignored -- she'll lie about the boys' age. Tell her when she starts showing some maturity (and that includes not having temper tantrums when she can't have her way), then you will be more than happy to consider group dates.</p><p> </p><p>When is she off punishment? Obviously, if she's still grounded next weekend, the issue is moot and she knows it. If she's not, I would wait to see if the boy showed up. If he does, explain to him the house rule that he's just too old for her and she's really not ready for single type dates. He might run when he hears her tantrum at that piece of news.</p><p> </p><p>My daughter was a rager and destroyer. I simply removed anything not broken and stored it while she was out a friend's house. When she got home, I told her things would be returned when she started showing she could control herself. I also told (before she walked in the door) that if she destroyed the property of anyone else in the house or outside, I would be selling her things to replace that item. She was furious but she walked in, slammed her door, tore her bed apart but destroyed nothing.</p><p> </p><p>Right now, your daughter is trying to control the house with her tantrums. You need to take back control. Not easy, but doable. She doesn't want to see a therapist? Fine, she doesn't have to. But you don't have to take her places, get her nice things, let her see friends until she not only sees a therapist but cooperates with one. Do let her know she will be free to tell the therapist all the rotten things you do to make her life miserable. This was the deciding factor for my daughter.</p><p> </p><p>Good luck!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 118957, member: 3626"] Another vote to change that contract. If it says she can date a boy up to 2 years older than her, I'll guaranty that the age limit will be totally ignored -- she'll lie about the boys' age. Tell her when she starts showing some maturity (and that includes not having temper tantrums when she can't have her way), then you will be more than happy to consider group dates. When is she off punishment? Obviously, if she's still grounded next weekend, the issue is moot and she knows it. If she's not, I would wait to see if the boy showed up. If he does, explain to him the house rule that he's just too old for her and she's really not ready for single type dates. He might run when he hears her tantrum at that piece of news. My daughter was a rager and destroyer. I simply removed anything not broken and stored it while she was out a friend's house. When she got home, I told her things would be returned when she started showing she could control herself. I also told (before she walked in the door) that if she destroyed the property of anyone else in the house or outside, I would be selling her things to replace that item. She was furious but she walked in, slammed her door, tore her bed apart but destroyed nothing. Right now, your daughter is trying to control the house with her tantrums. You need to take back control. Not easy, but doable. She doesn't want to see a therapist? Fine, she doesn't have to. But you don't have to take her places, get her nice things, let her see friends until she not only sees a therapist but cooperates with one. Do let her know she will be free to tell the therapist all the rotten things you do to make her life miserable. This was the deciding factor for my daughter. Good luck! [/QUOTE]
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