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General Parenting
Kanga is driving me nuts!
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<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 404975" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>JJJ - Any chance you could pass the decisions on passes and her job at the gas station off to staff? She is in their program. They (in my humble opinion) should be the bad guys here, esp since one of the goals is to improve the family relationship with- Kanga. Her calling you to request this stuff is really just setting you up to be the target of her anger (again). Maybe *that* would be an appropriate topic at family therapy - how her calling you to request privileges that are ultimately at the discretion of Residential Treatment Center (RTC) staff is just perpetuating the existing tensions in the family. </p><p></p><p>I know you don't think she's ready for any of that, and honestly I cannot imagine her treatment team does either, but I think it would be far better for you if these kinds of requests were brought up at the team mtgs, by Kanga. You're off the hook, Kanga has to advocate for herself, and the team is going to get a much better firsthand look at her thought processes, especially since they're talking group home placement. And if Kanga doesn't bring it up at the team mtg, then it's on her, not you (I'm recalling she didn't bring up her last idea - can't remember what it was - at the team mtg). She discussed it with you, you were the bad guy, but it ended there. I think it's time to quit allowing her to set things up so that you continue to be the "no" man. Next idea she comes up with, just say "hmmm, that's an interesting thought, why don't you discuss it at the next team mtg?"</p><p></p><p>I may be off base, but it seems like the brunt of the accountability and responsibility for Kanga's tx plan is resting squarely on your shoulders - it's time to start spreading the wealth. That clock is a-ticking.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 404975, member: 8"] JJJ - Any chance you could pass the decisions on passes and her job at the gas station off to staff? She is in their program. They (in my humble opinion) should be the bad guys here, esp since one of the goals is to improve the family relationship with- Kanga. Her calling you to request this stuff is really just setting you up to be the target of her anger (again). Maybe *that* would be an appropriate topic at family therapy - how her calling you to request privileges that are ultimately at the discretion of Residential Treatment Center (RTC) staff is just perpetuating the existing tensions in the family. I know you don't think she's ready for any of that, and honestly I cannot imagine her treatment team does either, but I think it would be far better for you if these kinds of requests were brought up at the team mtgs, by Kanga. You're off the hook, Kanga has to advocate for herself, and the team is going to get a much better firsthand look at her thought processes, especially since they're talking group home placement. And if Kanga doesn't bring it up at the team mtg, then it's on her, not you (I'm recalling she didn't bring up her last idea - can't remember what it was - at the team mtg). She discussed it with you, you were the bad guy, but it ended there. I think it's time to quit allowing her to set things up so that you continue to be the "no" man. Next idea she comes up with, just say "hmmm, that's an interesting thought, why don't you discuss it at the next team mtg?" I may be off base, but it seems like the brunt of the accountability and responsibility for Kanga's tx plan is resting squarely on your shoulders - it's time to start spreading the wealth. That clock is a-ticking. [/QUOTE]
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Kanga is driving me nuts!
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