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KarenB
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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 151382" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>Saw your comments on another thread and copied it here. Hope you don't mind but I want to make a couple of comments.</p><p> </p><p>"My husband and I are talking about taking everything but the mattress and clothes in the closet, but for another reason. Our son has already lost video games and TV, pretty much for life because he won't stop stealing and lying. Boy he got one over on us though. Even with just a few things in his room he managed to hide a Gameboy Advance that was taken from him months ago. He actually went in our bedroom and took it back, and he had to dig to find it too. No remorse at all. Since he continues to steal and hide things we're going to take everything but the mattress. We already took his bedroom and closet doors off the hinges. We don't trust him to be out of our sight. In fact as I'm typing my bedrom door is closed and I'm wondering if he left his bedroom to go take things out of his brother's room."</p><p> </p><p>I tried your methods. They didn't work for my daughter. They're obviously not working for your son. If they were, he wouldn't still be stealing and lying about it. If he's in the same situation mine was, he really doesn't see any choice but to lie and steal to get what he wants. He has no way to earn them back.</p><p> </p><p>It took me awhile, but I learned that if I was going to take something away, to just take it for that day/evening. No longer, no matter what. For some of our kids, that really is all they handle. Any more of a consequence and they just give up, assume they're bad kids and prove you right.</p><p> </p><p>I don't have any answers for you. My daughter quit stealing when she matured. Before then, she truly couldn't stop -- the impulse control wasn't there and she really did think that what was mine (or whomever's), was hers. She'd also just as readily give you anything of hers you wanted.</p><p> </p><p>The lying I got to stop by the simple fact I didn't give her a chance to lie. I didn't ask. I simply said such and such is missing. If you have it, you have 10 minutes to return it. After 10 minutes, I will search for it. In the long run, it was worth it. She was no longer accused of lying because she wasn't lying -- I wasn't asking.</p><p> </p><p>I'm not criticizing your parenting style. I tried your way. I'm simply saying that it hasn't worked to date. So, maybe it is time to try something different.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 151382, member: 3626"] Saw your comments on another thread and copied it here. Hope you don't mind but I want to make a couple of comments. "My husband and I are talking about taking everything but the mattress and clothes in the closet, but for another reason. Our son has already lost video games and TV, pretty much for life because he won't stop stealing and lying. Boy he got one over on us though. Even with just a few things in his room he managed to hide a Gameboy Advance that was taken from him months ago. He actually went in our bedroom and took it back, and he had to dig to find it too. No remorse at all. Since he continues to steal and hide things we're going to take everything but the mattress. We already took his bedroom and closet doors off the hinges. We don't trust him to be out of our sight. In fact as I'm typing my bedrom door is closed and I'm wondering if he left his bedroom to go take things out of his brother's room." I tried your methods. They didn't work for my daughter. They're obviously not working for your son. If they were, he wouldn't still be stealing and lying about it. If he's in the same situation mine was, he really doesn't see any choice but to lie and steal to get what he wants. He has no way to earn them back. It took me awhile, but I learned that if I was going to take something away, to just take it for that day/evening. No longer, no matter what. For some of our kids, that really is all they handle. Any more of a consequence and they just give up, assume they're bad kids and prove you right. I don't have any answers for you. My daughter quit stealing when she matured. Before then, she truly couldn't stop -- the impulse control wasn't there and she really did think that what was mine (or whomever's), was hers. She'd also just as readily give you anything of hers you wanted. The lying I got to stop by the simple fact I didn't give her a chance to lie. I didn't ask. I simply said such and such is missing. If you have it, you have 10 minutes to return it. After 10 minutes, I will search for it. In the long run, it was worth it. She was no longer accused of lying because she wasn't lying -- I wasn't asking. I'm not criticizing your parenting style. I tried your way. I'm simply saying that it hasn't worked to date. So, maybe it is time to try something different. [/QUOTE]
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