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Substance Abuse
Kicked 19 year old son out of house...using and selling drugs...refused to get help..
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 585291" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Been there/done that with drug using daughter. So sorry you have to be one of those wearing our t-shirt. Unless you personally lit the weed or forced the pills down his throat, you didn't cause your son to use drugs. Some kids are more susceptible to that than other ones. Don't blame yourself. I'm sure you would have done anything in your power to make sure he never went that route and I'm sure you'd give your own life if he'd only give up his destructive lifestyle. When kids get to be around twelve, which was the age my daughter started using, their parents can sometimes become less important to kids than their peers and in many circles it's "cool" to take drugs. My daughter was very insecure and shy and we had moved her to a new school. For months nobody sat next to her at lunch or even noticed her. The "bad" kids are the most accepting. They were the first ones to approach her in a friendly way. That's HER story. Your son has one too. Don't waste time feeling guilty.</p><p></p><p>My best guess is that nobody broke into your son's place to sell the electronics. It's possible, when you hang out with shady creatures, but most likely he sold them himself for drugs. My daughter used to pull the same stuff. Since she has been clean, she has admitted she was the one who sold her stuff, although she did say that some of her "friends" were dangerous enough to have stolen from her. We never knew the extent of her drug use until after she quit. Suffice to say, bad people were after her for bad reasons (something to do with payment of drugs) and she had people threatening her, although she didn't tell us again until after she quit. After all, if she told us, we'd tell the cops, then she'd get into trouble too. We also told her "good-bye" but she caught a break and called her older and very straight older brother who lived in another state and he let her stay with him under s strict set of rules that she would never have followed for us and because she was on her own, away from her "friends, and without transportation, she was able to quit. I agree that NOBODY should enable your son. My daughter was cut off from us, had to get a job at Subway, and walk to and from and pay her brother rent. If she had so much as lit a cigarette, he would have thrown her out so she even quit the cigarettes. It is almost ten years later and I don't know how we got through her 12-19 years, but we did. However, we didn't help her stop using because nobody can do that...only the adult child can do it. </p><p></p><p>I would cut off the cell phone. He can work. He proved that...he had two jobs. If he lost them due to drugs than maybe he will at least not use them before he has to go to work in order to keep his job. My daughter worked at Walmart when she was high as a kite. It was her only money. She never got caught at Walmart either. Looking back, I wonder why they didn't drug test. She freely admits she was never sober while at Walmart (shrug).</p><p></p><p>It's true that everyone hits rock bottom in a different way. And sometimes it takes more than rock bottom to quit. My daughter hit her personal rock bottom when she saw a friend of a friend with track marks up and down her arms. She had a lightbulb moment and thought, "OMG! That's going to be me!" But it still took her several attempts to quit and also getting out of town and away from her bad group of cronies. </p><p></p><p>I highly recommend going to a Narc-Anon meeting for face-to-face real time help from parents who understand. Although we can't stop our kids when they are using drugs, we can support one another as we take this ugly journey. And I wouldn't let anyone diagnose him while he is still using drugs. They diagnosed my daughter with bipolar. She clearly does not have bipolar. She just acted like it when she was using drugs. They screw with your kid's moods. Likely your son is more involved in drugs than you think. </p><p></p><p>Gentle hugs. Keep posting. We understand.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 585291, member: 1550"] Been there/done that with drug using daughter. So sorry you have to be one of those wearing our t-shirt. Unless you personally lit the weed or forced the pills down his throat, you didn't cause your son to use drugs. Some kids are more susceptible to that than other ones. Don't blame yourself. I'm sure you would have done anything in your power to make sure he never went that route and I'm sure you'd give your own life if he'd only give up his destructive lifestyle. When kids get to be around twelve, which was the age my daughter started using, their parents can sometimes become less important to kids than their peers and in many circles it's "cool" to take drugs. My daughter was very insecure and shy and we had moved her to a new school. For months nobody sat next to her at lunch or even noticed her. The "bad" kids are the most accepting. They were the first ones to approach her in a friendly way. That's HER story. Your son has one too. Don't waste time feeling guilty. My best guess is that nobody broke into your son's place to sell the electronics. It's possible, when you hang out with shady creatures, but most likely he sold them himself for drugs. My daughter used to pull the same stuff. Since she has been clean, she has admitted she was the one who sold her stuff, although she did say that some of her "friends" were dangerous enough to have stolen from her. We never knew the extent of her drug use until after she quit. Suffice to say, bad people were after her for bad reasons (something to do with payment of drugs) and she had people threatening her, although she didn't tell us again until after she quit. After all, if she told us, we'd tell the cops, then she'd get into trouble too. We also told her "good-bye" but she caught a break and called her older and very straight older brother who lived in another state and he let her stay with him under s strict set of rules that she would never have followed for us and because she was on her own, away from her "friends, and without transportation, she was able to quit. I agree that NOBODY should enable your son. My daughter was cut off from us, had to get a job at Subway, and walk to and from and pay her brother rent. If she had so much as lit a cigarette, he would have thrown her out so she even quit the cigarettes. It is almost ten years later and I don't know how we got through her 12-19 years, but we did. However, we didn't help her stop using because nobody can do that...only the adult child can do it. I would cut off the cell phone. He can work. He proved that...he had two jobs. If he lost them due to drugs than maybe he will at least not use them before he has to go to work in order to keep his job. My daughter worked at Walmart when she was high as a kite. It was her only money. She never got caught at Walmart either. Looking back, I wonder why they didn't drug test. She freely admits she was never sober while at Walmart (shrug). It's true that everyone hits rock bottom in a different way. And sometimes it takes more than rock bottom to quit. My daughter hit her personal rock bottom when she saw a friend of a friend with track marks up and down her arms. She had a lightbulb moment and thought, "OMG! That's going to be me!" But it still took her several attempts to quit and also getting out of town and away from her bad group of cronies. I highly recommend going to a Narc-Anon meeting for face-to-face real time help from parents who understand. Although we can't stop our kids when they are using drugs, we can support one another as we take this ugly journey. And I wouldn't let anyone diagnose him while he is still using drugs. They diagnosed my daughter with bipolar. She clearly does not have bipolar. She just acted like it when she was using drugs. They screw with your kid's moods. Likely your son is more involved in drugs than you think. Gentle hugs. Keep posting. We understand. [/QUOTE]
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Kicked 19 year old son out of house...using and selling drugs...refused to get help..
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