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Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Kicked 19 year old son out of house...using and selling drugs...refused to get help..
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 585388" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>Oh I feel for you. I have so been there and it is hard hard hard. My son was homeless across the country for 5 months... after being in several rehabs. He finally decided to come in from the cold and went back into treatment and is now living in a sober house and seems to be doing pretty well, at least for the moment. I think you are doing the right thing to stop enabling him... keep letting him know you love him and will be there for him when he wants help. He is not going to want it until he feels he has no other choice but he may very well get there.</p><p></p><p>We did continue to pay for my sons phone... and the main reason was for our own peace of mind... it meant that he could get in touch with us when he was ready and it also meant I could check phone records... and even though I really didnt know who he was calling or why (probably not for good things), the fact he was making calls was at times the only way I knew he was alive. So if it was me I would continue to pay for his phone.</p><p></p><p>And yes you need to protect your 12 year old... it is not healthy for him to have to see and live with his brother doing these things.....it is also good for him to know that you wont allow this kind of behavior in your home... the younger kids can learn all kinds of lessons from watching what happens iwth their older siblings. I have a daugher who is now 17.. .she is doing great but she does have some resentment that so much of your focus in her early years was on my son and his issues.... but she is doing well now that he is out of our house.</p><p></p><p>Stay strong, keep reading you have support and understanding here.</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 585388, member: 15801"] Oh I feel for you. I have so been there and it is hard hard hard. My son was homeless across the country for 5 months... after being in several rehabs. He finally decided to come in from the cold and went back into treatment and is now living in a sober house and seems to be doing pretty well, at least for the moment. I think you are doing the right thing to stop enabling him... keep letting him know you love him and will be there for him when he wants help. He is not going to want it until he feels he has no other choice but he may very well get there. We did continue to pay for my sons phone... and the main reason was for our own peace of mind... it meant that he could get in touch with us when he was ready and it also meant I could check phone records... and even though I really didnt know who he was calling or why (probably not for good things), the fact he was making calls was at times the only way I knew he was alive. So if it was me I would continue to pay for his phone. And yes you need to protect your 12 year old... it is not healthy for him to have to see and live with his brother doing these things.....it is also good for him to know that you wont allow this kind of behavior in your home... the younger kids can learn all kinds of lessons from watching what happens iwth their older siblings. I have a daugher who is now 17.. .she is doing great but she does have some resentment that so much of your focus in her early years was on my son and his issues.... but she is doing well now that he is out of our house. Stay strong, keep reading you have support and understanding here. TL [/QUOTE]
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Kicked 19 year old son out of house...using and selling drugs...refused to get help..
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