Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Last night he said "no contact." He called this morning.
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 664115" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Copa, one time when my son was growing up---before the high school years---he said this: Mom, I don't want to grow up. </p><p></p><p>He was dead serious.</p><p></p><p>I had never heard anything like that before. You know, most kids want to be grown up NOW. They want all of the privileges of adulthood (that they perceive are so great).</p><p></p><p>I think my son has always been afraid of responsibility. I think he has never thought he could count on himself. He has never felt good about himself. Like he was capable enough.</p><p></p><p>When he was a little boy, he hated new situations. He would cling to me for the longest times, weeks, into months, when he had to go to a new preschool or new class or a new sport for the first time, or whatever. </p><p></p><p>He hung back.</p><p></p><p>He had anxiety. He still bites his fingernails. He moves a lot when he is standing in the kitchen talking to you. He's walking back and forth. I think it's still anxiety. </p><p></p><p>He is doing it, though. Doing life. I think that is what he has to do---to see himself do it. He has to see himself actually do it.</p><p></p><p>Now, he is still not completely standing alone, Copa. He has a lot of emotional support from his dad and me. He has people he can go to---us---for things, just to talk or vent or ask for help.</p><p></p><p>Last week I gave him $20 because he was short for his cell phone bill.</p><p></p><p>Copa, a year ago I wouldn't give him $1. Not a penny of cash. For any reason whatsoever. I didn't trust him at all. </p><p></p><p>Today, my ex-husband (his dad) and I are helping him some. This is something I am doing very gingerly. I don't trust things yet. I don't want to harm him by my so-called help. He must do this. He must walk through the paces. He needs to not be sure of things. And know he has to work really hard, and then fall into bed, exhausted, only to get up and do it all again the next day. This is the stuff of adulthood.</p><p></p><p>Copa, I am taking him and our relationship one day at a time. I don't know how to do it any other way right now.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 664115, member: 17542"] Copa, one time when my son was growing up---before the high school years---he said this: Mom, I don't want to grow up. He was dead serious. I had never heard anything like that before. You know, most kids want to be grown up NOW. They want all of the privileges of adulthood (that they perceive are so great). I think my son has always been afraid of responsibility. I think he has never thought he could count on himself. He has never felt good about himself. Like he was capable enough. When he was a little boy, he hated new situations. He would cling to me for the longest times, weeks, into months, when he had to go to a new preschool or new class or a new sport for the first time, or whatever. He hung back. He had anxiety. He still bites his fingernails. He moves a lot when he is standing in the kitchen talking to you. He's walking back and forth. I think it's still anxiety. He is doing it, though. Doing life. I think that is what he has to do---to see himself do it. He has to see himself actually do it. Now, he is still not completely standing alone, Copa. He has a lot of emotional support from his dad and me. He has people he can go to---us---for things, just to talk or vent or ask for help. Last week I gave him $20 because he was short for his cell phone bill. Copa, a year ago I wouldn't give him $1. Not a penny of cash. For any reason whatsoever. I didn't trust him at all. Today, my ex-husband (his dad) and I are helping him some. This is something I am doing very gingerly. I don't trust things yet. I don't want to harm him by my so-called help. He must do this. He must walk through the paces. He needs to not be sure of things. And know he has to work really hard, and then fall into bed, exhausted, only to get up and do it all again the next day. This is the stuff of adulthood. Copa, I am taking him and our relationship one day at a time. I don't know how to do it any other way right now. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Last night he said "no contact." He called this morning.
Top