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Last night he said "no contact." He called this morning.
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 664156" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Yes. I also think my feelings, my mushiness and spinelessness (what I am now calling my Dough Boy Mode) makes it more difficult for him to figure things out for himself. </p><p></p><p>The enabling sends a message: You are not competent. I do not trust you. I know better. You cannot do it without me. You need me to be in control. You cannot do it without me. </p><p></p><p>How could this not be invalidating, disrespecting and insulting?</p><p></p><p>Over and above this, the emotionality and the confusion that results from poor boundaries...from getting into their heads...from accepting their negative affect into our heads...or responsibility for same. We actively contribute to the problems we purportedly seek to solve. In some many ways.</p><p></p><p>It is disempowering to everybody involved. </p><p>I do not think we can be responsible to do this. We can act in such a way to support their doing so. Only that.</p><p>Yes. </p><p>Me too.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 664156, member: 18958"] Yes. I also think my feelings, my mushiness and spinelessness (what I am now calling my Dough Boy Mode) makes it more difficult for him to figure things out for himself. The enabling sends a message: You are not competent. I do not trust you. I know better. You cannot do it without me. You need me to be in control. You cannot do it without me. How could this not be invalidating, disrespecting and insulting? Over and above this, the emotionality and the confusion that results from poor boundaries...from getting into their heads...from accepting their negative affect into our heads...or responsibility for same. We actively contribute to the problems we purportedly seek to solve. In some many ways. It is disempowering to everybody involved. I do not think we can be responsible to do this. We can act in such a way to support their doing so. Only that. Yes. Me too. [/QUOTE]
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Last night he said "no contact." He called this morning.
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