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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 620541" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>I will write more later. I have a super busy day, workwise, and I have to get to it very shortly. I had class last night, but I am reading all you are all writing and later, I will read it all again and write more thoughtfully.</p><p></p><p>Update: last night as I was driving to class, he called several times from a blocked phone number and left a vm saying that the SA would not let him stay there. He "didn't know what to do." Answer the phone the next time I call, Mom, so we can brainstorm. I know you said not to call, but I don't know why they won't let me stay and I don't know what to do. I'm talking to some people here out in the parking lot...</p><p></p><p>I didn't answer the phone the next times he calls. Thankfully, I was in class, and I had turned my phone off as I always do.</p><p></p><p>I didn't have to decide. I had already decided.</p><p></p><p>And I didn't hear from him after about 7 p.m. And I haven't heard all night into this morning. So that is good. I am staying the course right now.</p><p></p><p>If I can keep on staying the course, he will HAVE to do something. </p><p></p><p>Humor: Brainstorming about where to go if you're homeless??? Right. Those people in the parking lot would be much better resources than I. I have already printed out every shelter and halfway house I can find here for him. He HAS the information and can get it. He just wants to engage me and I see that.</p><p></p><p>Having nowhere to sleep when it's cold outside is NOT an emergency. It helps me to define what is, and what is not, an emergency that would even cause me to THINK about responding.</p><p></p><p>I am working hard not to respond or react about ANYTHING he says, while also remembering Cedar's thoughts about proactive communication and the difference in those two things. That's why I posted my rules on the front door and then when SO suggested I send them in a FB message, I did. I wasn't sure if that was reacting or not at first. I don't want to teach him that if he keeps on or says just the right thing, he can get me to answer. That is my decision point.</p><p></p><p>I do think it was the right thing to do to post my rules to him in a FB message. it was proactive not reactive. </p><p></p><p>This time. </p><p></p><p>Until next time, thank you for all of your prayers, support, counsel, thoughts. You are all helping me so much.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 620541, member: 17542"] I will write more later. I have a super busy day, workwise, and I have to get to it very shortly. I had class last night, but I am reading all you are all writing and later, I will read it all again and write more thoughtfully. Update: last night as I was driving to class, he called several times from a blocked phone number and left a vm saying that the SA would not let him stay there. He "didn't know what to do." Answer the phone the next time I call, Mom, so we can brainstorm. I know you said not to call, but I don't know why they won't let me stay and I don't know what to do. I'm talking to some people here out in the parking lot... I didn't answer the phone the next times he calls. Thankfully, I was in class, and I had turned my phone off as I always do. I didn't have to decide. I had already decided. And I didn't hear from him after about 7 p.m. And I haven't heard all night into this morning. So that is good. I am staying the course right now. If I can keep on staying the course, he will HAVE to do something. Humor: Brainstorming about where to go if you're homeless??? Right. Those people in the parking lot would be much better resources than I. I have already printed out every shelter and halfway house I can find here for him. He HAS the information and can get it. He just wants to engage me and I see that. Having nowhere to sleep when it's cold outside is NOT an emergency. It helps me to define what is, and what is not, an emergency that would even cause me to THINK about responding. I am working hard not to respond or react about ANYTHING he says, while also remembering Cedar's thoughts about proactive communication and the difference in those two things. That's why I posted my rules on the front door and then when SO suggested I send them in a FB message, I did. I wasn't sure if that was reacting or not at first. I don't want to teach him that if he keeps on or says just the right thing, he can get me to answer. That is my decision point. I do think it was the right thing to do to post my rules to him in a FB message. it was proactive not reactive. This time. Until next time, thank you for all of your prayers, support, counsel, thoughts. You are all helping me so much. [/QUOTE]
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