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Parent Emeritus
Last night
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 620544" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>You continue to do a good job COM, in spite of all of the relentless contact from your son. This is a tough time and you are handling it well. Each time you don't respond, you train him to look elsewhere, each time you don't respond, your brain settles down out of the FOG of enabling, that place we go in our heads which keeps us stuck in old behaviors.........with each step you take in this new direction, you strengthen the new muscles, like working out at the gym..........it gets easier and easier to do............AND, it is really, one step at a time. </p><p></p><p>He has the list of shelters you posted for him............his brain is still on that pathway which says, "let Mom do it for me." Uh, no, his brain will need to create a new pathway which says, "this is up to ME!" And, he will.</p><p></p><p>I've said this before, my (schizophrenic) brother lived on the streets of L.A. for YEARS.........and aside from being somewhat dirty, he survived. In some ways he actually thrived because he was accepted there and nothing was expected of him. Being homeless is not the end of the world. Like Echo's son, he can panhandle. I was surprised to hear from her that he can make up to $75 a day. Not bad. Your son has OPTIONS. He is choosing not to take them now. But your new responses will push him to make new choices. I hope that happens sooner then later......for you.</p><p></p><p>I am impressed with your resolve. You made a plan and you followed that plan. In this nightmare in which we live, you are creating a new dream for yourself..........hang tough COM.........we're always here for you cheering you on.............prayers sent for your strength and resolve to continue.........</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 620544, member: 13542"] You continue to do a good job COM, in spite of all of the relentless contact from your son. This is a tough time and you are handling it well. Each time you don't respond, you train him to look elsewhere, each time you don't respond, your brain settles down out of the FOG of enabling, that place we go in our heads which keeps us stuck in old behaviors.........with each step you take in this new direction, you strengthen the new muscles, like working out at the gym..........it gets easier and easier to do............AND, it is really, one step at a time. He has the list of shelters you posted for him............his brain is still on that pathway which says, "let Mom do it for me." Uh, no, his brain will need to create a new pathway which says, "this is up to ME!" And, he will. I've said this before, my (schizophrenic) brother lived on the streets of L.A. for YEARS.........and aside from being somewhat dirty, he survived. In some ways he actually thrived because he was accepted there and nothing was expected of him. Being homeless is not the end of the world. Like Echo's son, he can panhandle. I was surprised to hear from her that he can make up to $75 a day. Not bad. Your son has OPTIONS. He is choosing not to take them now. But your new responses will push him to make new choices. I hope that happens sooner then later......for you. I am impressed with your resolve. You made a plan and you followed that plan. In this nightmare in which we live, you are creating a new dream for yourself..........hang tough COM.........we're always here for you cheering you on.............prayers sent for your strength and resolve to continue......... [/QUOTE]
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