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Last Night's Drama...
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<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 512202" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>Good grief - sounds like it got just all discombobulated last night, with you stuck squarely in the middle. Sigh...</p><p></p><p>First off, I would have very squarely confronted difficult child on her bologna about missing the bus. Kinda hard to *catch* the bus if she's not at home, Know what I mean?? And I would have let her know that you knew she wasn't there. Sometimes I think difficult children need a reality check - parents aren't quite as clueless as they would like to think.</p><p></p><p>Just my opinion, but looking at the whole picture, it sounds to me like Daisy needs a *serious* break. You can't win, between difficult child's junk and husband blaming you. It's not fair to *him*??? Puleez.... though I totally get his line of thinking, because my beloved husband pulled this stuff many many moons ago. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /> I think it's a man thing. Probably pointless to explain that it's not fair to you that he undermines the "plan". Consistency is key.</p><p></p><p>So, I think it's time for you to wash your hands of it all. Go on strike in terms of worrying/dealing with- difficult child. Hand it all over to husband and let him know he's responsible/accountable for difficult child since he feels your strategies are just making his life miserable. Do *nothing* for difficult child. Tell husband that he can handle all issues, period. That way, he can't be mad at you because he'll be the one picking the battles. And if/when it hits the fan again, I think it will be time for a quick trip to 7-11 or Barnes & Noble or the local bar for you. Remove yourself. </p><p></p><p>Prepare to bit your tongue, a *lot*. Until husband can get in the same chapter with you, you're going to be losing on both fronts - dealing with- difficult child essentially on your own (with a good dose of sabotage from husband) and dealing with- husband's unhappiness that June and the Beav aren't waiting for him at home. He needs to deal with this on his own, for an extended period of time. in my humble opinion.</p><p></p><p>Hugs to you. It's ridiculous the amt of power our difficult children can have over our marriage relationships. It's very easy (and I think normal) to lose sight of the partnership we have with- our spouses when we're in the midst of difficult child behaviors.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 512202, member: 8"] Good grief - sounds like it got just all discombobulated last night, with you stuck squarely in the middle. Sigh... First off, I would have very squarely confronted difficult child on her bologna about missing the bus. Kinda hard to *catch* the bus if she's not at home, Know what I mean?? And I would have let her know that you knew she wasn't there. Sometimes I think difficult children need a reality check - parents aren't quite as clueless as they would like to think. Just my opinion, but looking at the whole picture, it sounds to me like Daisy needs a *serious* break. You can't win, between difficult child's junk and husband blaming you. It's not fair to *him*??? Puleez.... though I totally get his line of thinking, because my beloved husband pulled this stuff many many moons ago. :winking: I think it's a man thing. Probably pointless to explain that it's not fair to you that he undermines the "plan". Consistency is key. So, I think it's time for you to wash your hands of it all. Go on strike in terms of worrying/dealing with- difficult child. Hand it all over to husband and let him know he's responsible/accountable for difficult child since he feels your strategies are just making his life miserable. Do *nothing* for difficult child. Tell husband that he can handle all issues, period. That way, he can't be mad at you because he'll be the one picking the battles. And if/when it hits the fan again, I think it will be time for a quick trip to 7-11 or Barnes & Noble or the local bar for you. Remove yourself. Prepare to bit your tongue, a *lot*. Until husband can get in the same chapter with you, you're going to be losing on both fronts - dealing with- difficult child essentially on your own (with a good dose of sabotage from husband) and dealing with- husband's unhappiness that June and the Beav aren't waiting for him at home. He needs to deal with this on his own, for an extended period of time. in my humble opinion. Hugs to you. It's ridiculous the amt of power our difficult children can have over our marriage relationships. It's very easy (and I think normal) to lose sight of the partnership we have with- our spouses when we're in the midst of difficult child behaviors. [/QUOTE]
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