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Substance Abuse
Learning how to live with guilt
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<blockquote data-quote="Ropefree" data-source="post: 243281" data-attributes="member: 6271"><p>Fancy:Hello. One sage thought that passed my radar that I feel helps me is that when we demonstrate taking care of ourselves and our boundaries we give permission to others to take care of their own boundaries.</p><p> I do not know what you have been through that you now feel that you may have done differently. Maybe you did things that honestly you regret...we all do at least something. Or maybe when the dust has settled and your were not operating in the fog around crazymaking druggie behavior it dawned on you that well now that I have had a good sleep and heard the birds chirping in the morning again why by gosh and golly I could have....</p><p> One day, maybe not yet, you will have the very clear plan that fits the family situation that will be good for your loved one and you...and then you can set and maintain boundaries and even then if it works out or not is not on you.</p><p> Some bad feelings I have take time...it is like my sub conscience mind is allowing the bad feeling to have its course and drag out the deep underlining thing that I need to look at accept and maybe never carry around again.</p><p> Sometimes that bad feeling is a good time to look back and remember how I got where I am.</p><p> When there is guilt sometimes the dream that died a little or a big was what I really wanted and intended to create. And I am someone that I never intended.</p><p> For me I have not had the drug use of one of my children thing. What I have had to do was just not what I invisioned was the way I wanted to go. Yet when it came down to it I did. I was right and it worked out. After a very trying interlude.</p><p> Guilt is a candle that may light the way to somewhere....and then it will burn out and be what it is. Were you a terrible parent? Or maybe just one of us human type parents?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Ropefree, post: 243281, member: 6271"] Fancy:Hello. One sage thought that passed my radar that I feel helps me is that when we demonstrate taking care of ourselves and our boundaries we give permission to others to take care of their own boundaries. I do not know what you have been through that you now feel that you may have done differently. Maybe you did things that honestly you regret...we all do at least something. Or maybe when the dust has settled and your were not operating in the fog around crazymaking druggie behavior it dawned on you that well now that I have had a good sleep and heard the birds chirping in the morning again why by gosh and golly I could have.... One day, maybe not yet, you will have the very clear plan that fits the family situation that will be good for your loved one and you...and then you can set and maintain boundaries and even then if it works out or not is not on you. Some bad feelings I have take time...it is like my sub conscience mind is allowing the bad feeling to have its course and drag out the deep underlining thing that I need to look at accept and maybe never carry around again. Sometimes that bad feeling is a good time to look back and remember how I got where I am. When there is guilt sometimes the dream that died a little or a big was what I really wanted and intended to create. And I am someone that I never intended. For me I have not had the drug use of one of my children thing. What I have had to do was just not what I invisioned was the way I wanted to go. Yet when it came down to it I did. I was right and it worked out. After a very trying interlude. Guilt is a candle that may light the way to somewhere....and then it will burn out and be what it is. Were you a terrible parent? Or maybe just one of us human type parents? [/QUOTE]
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