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Parent Emeritus
Leaving town, leaving my difficult child on her own.........some thoughts.........
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<blockquote data-quote="CrazyinVA" data-source="post: 515121" data-attributes="member: 1157"><p>Remember this: she'll be homeless whether or not you go on vacation. Where you are, really makes no difference. But you're right, being 3,000 miles away brings its own sort of "peace" to the situation for you; you literally can't do anything from that far away. And in the world of codependency and learning to detach, I think that's a good thing.</p><p></p><p>I also want to mention something I've said here before, a favorite saying of my own therapist. "You're working harder than she is." When we get to a place where we're more worried about their circumstances than they are, it's time to step back. I get into that rut with Youngest from time to time, I find myself worrying about where she'll go, what she'll do, what will happen if such and such does or doesn't happen, and then I realize, she's not worried about it. She's just moving forward with her (bad) decisions and not giving it a second a thought. Why should I let myself be consumed with worry over it, if she isn't, and spend time and effort researching potential solutions to her situation, when she hasn't bothered and probably won't take my suggestions anyway? I'm working harder than she is. </p><p></p><p>Hugs. I hope you have a fabulous vacation, you SO deserve it!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CrazyinVA, post: 515121, member: 1157"] Remember this: she'll be homeless whether or not you go on vacation. Where you are, really makes no difference. But you're right, being 3,000 miles away brings its own sort of "peace" to the situation for you; you literally can't do anything from that far away. And in the world of codependency and learning to detach, I think that's a good thing. I also want to mention something I've said here before, a favorite saying of my own therapist. "You're working harder than she is." When we get to a place where we're more worried about their circumstances than they are, it's time to step back. I get into that rut with Youngest from time to time, I find myself worrying about where she'll go, what she'll do, what will happen if such and such does or doesn't happen, and then I realize, she's not worried about it. She's just moving forward with her (bad) decisions and not giving it a second a thought. Why should I let myself be consumed with worry over it, if she isn't, and spend time and effort researching potential solutions to her situation, when she hasn't bothered and probably won't take my suggestions anyway? I'm working harder than she is. Hugs. I hope you have a fabulous vacation, you SO deserve it! [/QUOTE]
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Leaving town, leaving my difficult child on her own.........some thoughts.........
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