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<blockquote data-quote="Kathy813" data-source="post: 593266" data-attributes="member: 1967"><p>Hello all. I am glad to read that things are going relatively well for most of you. I am having a hard time right now. While I believe difficult child is still sober, the old manipulative, deceitful behaviors are still in full force. We just found out that she was planning a trip to NY to hook up with a guy she met while she was still in residential. The worst part is that she saved up for the trip while telling us she couldn't afford to eat or pay for her medications. She also still owes us money that she has not paid back claiming she didn't have the money.</p><p></p><p>All the while, she saved up $350 for the trip. The manager from the sober house called me to check up on difficult child's trip to visit "family." I was furious because when difficult child had first brought up this plan when she left rehab, we told her absolutely not since if she had enough money to take a trip like that, she could be helping out with her rent at the sober house. So difficult child's solution was do all of this behind our back. The worst part was the plan to spend two days in a hotel in Times Square with another newly recovering addict before she took a train out to Long Island to visit my brother and his family. Like any good could come out of that . . .</p><p></p><p>We discussed all of this at an emergency family therapy call where the therapist encouraged me to tell difficult child what I was feeling. In response, difficult child said all of the right things but I just felt like it was all empty words. </p><p></p><p>I talked to our interventionist's assistant for a long time after the family call. She is a recovering alcoholic of 24 years and she gave me a lot of perspective. She said that they have a saying in AA that a drunk horse thief that stops drinking is just a sober horse thief. The behaviors don't change just because they stop using/drinking. difficult child has to put in the work to change the old manipulative behaviors and I don't see her doing that.</p><p></p><p>On a good note, easy child has had another very successful school year and they have asked her to start teaching the higher level IB math classes. husband has been given a full-time contract for the next school year which takes a lot of stress off of us.</p><p></p><p>And best of all . . . it is only 13 days until the end of the school year.</p><p></p><p>~Kathy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kathy813, post: 593266, member: 1967"] Hello all. I am glad to read that things are going relatively well for most of you. I am having a hard time right now. While I believe difficult child is still sober, the old manipulative, deceitful behaviors are still in full force. We just found out that she was planning a trip to NY to hook up with a guy she met while she was still in residential. The worst part is that she saved up for the trip while telling us she couldn't afford to eat or pay for her medications. She also still owes us money that she has not paid back claiming she didn't have the money. All the while, she saved up $350 for the trip. The manager from the sober house called me to check up on difficult child's trip to visit "family." I was furious because when difficult child had first brought up this plan when she left rehab, we told her absolutely not since if she had enough money to take a trip like that, she could be helping out with her rent at the sober house. So difficult child's solution was do all of this behind our back. The worst part was the plan to spend two days in a hotel in Times Square with another newly recovering addict before she took a train out to Long Island to visit my brother and his family. Like any good could come out of that . . . We discussed all of this at an emergency family therapy call where the therapist encouraged me to tell difficult child what I was feeling. In response, difficult child said all of the right things but I just felt like it was all empty words. I talked to our interventionist's assistant for a long time after the family call. She is a recovering alcoholic of 24 years and she gave me a lot of perspective. She said that they have a saying in AA that a drunk horse thief that stops drinking is just a sober horse thief. The behaviors don't change just because they stop using/drinking. difficult child has to put in the work to change the old manipulative behaviors and I don't see her doing that. On a good note, easy child has had another very successful school year and they have asked her to start teaching the higher level IB math classes. husband has been given a full-time contract for the next school year which takes a lot of stress off of us. And best of all . . . it is only 13 days until the end of the school year. ~Kathy [/QUOTE]
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