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Let's see if he can keep the job...
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 623269" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>The first days of a new job can be scary, for most of us.Perhaps he needs to really understand that that is a human thing, it isn't because of his issues. It's change, and change is hard and takes time. You may have told him all of that already, but it always helps me to know that how I am feeling is a normal response to the situation I am in. We can feel so alone and isolated when we are scared.</p><p></p><p>Tell him to breathe deeply, we shallow breathe when we are scared and that makes the brain have less oxygen and sets off more weird stuff and more fear.........deep breaths, perhaps every 10 minutes, during the day, ask him to remember to breathe deeply. It's amazing how helpful that is when you are scared. </p><p></p><p>Business employs the incentive program which I have utilized at times (I think at times it might have been called bribery!l) However, you could set up an incentive program for him. Like if he gets through the first week and hangs tough, he will earn, what? I don't know your son, so dinner out? an iTunes account with some songs? A new shirt? I have no idea what a young man would want, I have a million ideas for girls. You might even have a point system, he works a week, he earns 50 points, a month 400, they go towards? It doesn't have to be monetary, perhaps a family outing or family dinners, or if you want to make it monetary (this is where it's a hairy thin line leaning towards bribery, but what's semantics when you are trying to persuade a young person they can make the cut?) he could work for 6 months and earn a scooter or a bike.....I have no idea really about the actual rewards, but you do. Just a thought......</p><p></p><p>Hang in there IAD, it's equally as frustrating for you to have to deal with his fears. Remember to take care of yourself. While he's facing his new job, go have a massage! YOU'LL feel better.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 623269, member: 13542"] The first days of a new job can be scary, for most of us.Perhaps he needs to really understand that that is a human thing, it isn't because of his issues. It's change, and change is hard and takes time. You may have told him all of that already, but it always helps me to know that how I am feeling is a normal response to the situation I am in. We can feel so alone and isolated when we are scared. Tell him to breathe deeply, we shallow breathe when we are scared and that makes the brain have less oxygen and sets off more weird stuff and more fear.........deep breaths, perhaps every 10 minutes, during the day, ask him to remember to breathe deeply. It's amazing how helpful that is when you are scared. Business employs the incentive program which I have utilized at times (I think at times it might have been called bribery!l) However, you could set up an incentive program for him. Like if he gets through the first week and hangs tough, he will earn, what? I don't know your son, so dinner out? an iTunes account with some songs? A new shirt? I have no idea what a young man would want, I have a million ideas for girls. You might even have a point system, he works a week, he earns 50 points, a month 400, they go towards? It doesn't have to be monetary, perhaps a family outing or family dinners, or if you want to make it monetary (this is where it's a hairy thin line leaning towards bribery, but what's semantics when you are trying to persuade a young person they can make the cut?) he could work for 6 months and earn a scooter or a bike.....I have no idea really about the actual rewards, but you do. Just a thought...... Hang in there IAD, it's equally as frustrating for you to have to deal with his fears. Remember to take care of yourself. While he's facing his new job, go have a massage! YOU'LL feel better. [/QUOTE]
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