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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 65167" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>A favourite author of mine from years ago is James Herriot, who wrote stories about his life as a vet in the Yorkshire Dales. Hilarious stuff.</p><p></p><p>I grew up on a small farm and we had a lot of funny stories. I've written a number of them down - more to go. I even did some in bush verse, mainly because there was a competition at the time...</p><p></p><p>My brother saved up for ages and bought a horse. It was almost 18 hands high, a retired racehorse. My brother couldn't afford a saddle but soon learned he had to get hold of one, somewhere - it hurts when you fall off an 18 hand horse. He'd been walking the horse along the shale farm track and the horse suddenly decided to gallop, at full racing speed. As my brother sailed past the side gate he was heard yelling, "How do I stop this thi-i-i-i-ng?" The horse then saw the cattle grid across the track - and stopped. My brother didn't. </p><p>His best friend, whose family was wealthy, had a fancy little pony. Young, fit, agile. He reckoned his expensive, young pony could beat an old, broken-down race horse any day. But he never could - they used to race together almost every weekend, with the pony left choking in the dust.</p><p></p><p>We kept a small number of sheep. When we first turned them out into the paddock, the grass was knee-high. Our small dog was only half that height, she would disappear in the grass. She had to jump up and look at the top of each jump, to see where the sheep were, and then make her way in that direction. It was sort of, "Where are the sheep? Where are the sheep? There they are..." then the sheep would be suddenly startled by a small brown dog appearing from nowhere. </p><p>Once I had a poddy lamb it was much easier - I would stand at the gate of the pen and call my pet lamb and she would run to me, the rest of the flock following.</p><p></p><p>My sister had a white cat that thought it was a dog. He would sit when you told him to, he would come when called, he would 'heel'. And he would go hunting rabbits every day. A white cat - and yet he caught a rabbit, almost every single day. If a dog tried to chase him, he would just turn and stare at the dog. A couple of times he chose to go up a fence because a dog was chasing him but he would just sit at the top of the fence and stare down at the dog, as if thinking, "What ARE you?"</p><p>He went missing one day. He'd been gone overnight occasionally, but this time we didn't see him for days. A week passed and then there he was - perched on the post of the barbed wire fence over the road. Beyond this fence stretched the paddocks of long-deserted fields full of blackberry bushes. These were a favourite rabbitting place for this cat.</p><p>My sister called him, but he wouldn't come. He just miaowed at her, so she walked over the road to see - and found he was stuck. His foot was caught in a rabbit trap (of the man-trap variety). The trap had a chain on one end of it, and the end of the chain had a foot-long spike which clearly had been driven fully into the ground. This large nail was now tangled in the barbed wire of the fence. The cat had caught his foot in the trap probably days earlier, finally managed to pull up the nail then dragged the trap home, still on his foot. He was only defeated by the trap tangling.</p><p>The vet had to amputate two toes of the cat's foot. The damage, plus the days of no treatment while he was missing, had resulted in gangrene setting in. </p><p>One tough cat! But he knew that if he could only get home, someone would help him. One smart cat!</p><p></p><p>Then there's the dog that could climb fences and let herself off the chain...</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 65167, member: 1991"] A favourite author of mine from years ago is James Herriot, who wrote stories about his life as a vet in the Yorkshire Dales. Hilarious stuff. I grew up on a small farm and we had a lot of funny stories. I've written a number of them down - more to go. I even did some in bush verse, mainly because there was a competition at the time... My brother saved up for ages and bought a horse. It was almost 18 hands high, a retired racehorse. My brother couldn't afford a saddle but soon learned he had to get hold of one, somewhere - it hurts when you fall off an 18 hand horse. He'd been walking the horse along the shale farm track and the horse suddenly decided to gallop, at full racing speed. As my brother sailed past the side gate he was heard yelling, "How do I stop this thi-i-i-i-ng?" The horse then saw the cattle grid across the track - and stopped. My brother didn't. His best friend, whose family was wealthy, had a fancy little pony. Young, fit, agile. He reckoned his expensive, young pony could beat an old, broken-down race horse any day. But he never could - they used to race together almost every weekend, with the pony left choking in the dust. We kept a small number of sheep. When we first turned them out into the paddock, the grass was knee-high. Our small dog was only half that height, she would disappear in the grass. She had to jump up and look at the top of each jump, to see where the sheep were, and then make her way in that direction. It was sort of, "Where are the sheep? Where are the sheep? There they are..." then the sheep would be suddenly startled by a small brown dog appearing from nowhere. Once I had a poddy lamb it was much easier - I would stand at the gate of the pen and call my pet lamb and she would run to me, the rest of the flock following. My sister had a white cat that thought it was a dog. He would sit when you told him to, he would come when called, he would 'heel'. And he would go hunting rabbits every day. A white cat - and yet he caught a rabbit, almost every single day. If a dog tried to chase him, he would just turn and stare at the dog. A couple of times he chose to go up a fence because a dog was chasing him but he would just sit at the top of the fence and stare down at the dog, as if thinking, "What ARE you?" He went missing one day. He'd been gone overnight occasionally, but this time we didn't see him for days. A week passed and then there he was - perched on the post of the barbed wire fence over the road. Beyond this fence stretched the paddocks of long-deserted fields full of blackberry bushes. These were a favourite rabbitting place for this cat. My sister called him, but he wouldn't come. He just miaowed at her, so she walked over the road to see - and found he was stuck. His foot was caught in a rabbit trap (of the man-trap variety). The trap had a chain on one end of it, and the end of the chain had a foot-long spike which clearly had been driven fully into the ground. This large nail was now tangled in the barbed wire of the fence. The cat had caught his foot in the trap probably days earlier, finally managed to pull up the nail then dragged the trap home, still on his foot. He was only defeated by the trap tangling. The vet had to amputate two toes of the cat's foot. The damage, plus the days of no treatment while he was missing, had resulted in gangrene setting in. One tough cat! But he knew that if he could only get home, someone would help him. One smart cat! Then there's the dog that could climb fences and let herself off the chain... Marg [/QUOTE]
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