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Letters to the Estranged
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<blockquote data-quote="Signorina" data-source="post: 504682"><p>I don't know if a letter will help. And if it doesn't - where does that leave you?</p><p></p><p>I am not trying to be a naysayer - I have often fantasized about writing a letter to my son and that it could be the means to FINALLY get through to him. Because, of course a letter such as that would be something that would get through to ME. </p><p></p><p>But my difficult child is not thinking clearly. If he were - the heartfelt talks, the 18 years of loving, supporting, encouraging even just my being THERE for him would be enough for him to give us the benefit of the doubt at the very least. </p><p></p><p>Actually, I spilled my heart out to my son just 2 weeks before he left - and that night I left a mushy "I believe in you" card on his desk with heartfelt words of encouragement. He never even mentioned having gotten the card and when he left - it was one of the few things he left behind. </p><p></p><p>So that's why I caution you. I poured my heart out to my son in person and in writing. And it didn't mean a damn thing. Sure I have the solace that I did my best and that I said all the things I wanted him to know. But I also have the pain that I did my very best and expressed LOVINGLY all the things I wanted him to know and IT DIDN'T MATTER and IT DIDN'T REACH HIM and HE DOESN'T CARE.</p><p></p><p>Sorry if I sound bitter - I guess I am. It was a Hail Mary pass and it failed. And it exhausted all our efforts and left me vulnerable. </p><p></p><p>Boy I am a Debbie Downer - and I am sorry. I just want you to know that sometimes the fantasy is ideal but the reality is not. Think it through</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Signorina, post: 504682"] I don't know if a letter will help. And if it doesn't - where does that leave you? I am not trying to be a naysayer - I have often fantasized about writing a letter to my son and that it could be the means to FINALLY get through to him. Because, of course a letter such as that would be something that would get through to ME. But my difficult child is not thinking clearly. If he were - the heartfelt talks, the 18 years of loving, supporting, encouraging even just my being THERE for him would be enough for him to give us the benefit of the doubt at the very least. Actually, I spilled my heart out to my son just 2 weeks before he left - and that night I left a mushy "I believe in you" card on his desk with heartfelt words of encouragement. He never even mentioned having gotten the card and when he left - it was one of the few things he left behind. So that's why I caution you. I poured my heart out to my son in person and in writing. And it didn't mean a damn thing. Sure I have the solace that I did my best and that I said all the things I wanted him to know. But I also have the pain that I did my very best and expressed LOVINGLY all the things I wanted him to know and IT DIDN'T MATTER and IT DIDN'T REACH HIM and HE DOESN'T CARE. Sorry if I sound bitter - I guess I am. It was a Hail Mary pass and it failed. And it exhausted all our efforts and left me vulnerable. Boy I am a Debbie Downer - and I am sorry. I just want you to know that sometimes the fantasy is ideal but the reality is not. Think it through [/QUOTE]
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