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Letters to the Estranged
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<blockquote data-quote="InsaneCdn" data-source="post: 505035" data-attributes="member: 11791"><p>You can't build bridges if the other side keeps blowing it up.</p><p>We learned that the hard way... with other inter-generational relationships.</p><p></p><p>But... There is a time and a place to speak/write/connect.</p><p>It doesn't usually rebuild the relationship. If the timing, motive, and heartspace on both sides is right, it can "clear the air" and remove the wall of animosity... I know some who have done it with estranged spouses, half a lifetime later, and ended life "friendly" though not close.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Sig... Don't project. Its dangerous. You do not know where he is at in side his own head/heart. You don't know if he cares - or not. You don't know if he carries your words in his heart. You may not know for a long time. But he was still "there"... he chose to be in your presence, and you chose to reach out. You did what you could when there was opportunity. Now? You couldn't write that letter and send it... the situation has changed. Only later will you ever know if there was some seed planted, some floor placed in his downward spiral, some rope with a knot in it that he will grab when he is ready. You didn't get the reaction you were looking for... he wasn't ready for that. But... it probably did matter and it probably does matter. {{hugs}}</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="InsaneCdn, post: 505035, member: 11791"] You can't build bridges if the other side keeps blowing it up. We learned that the hard way... with other inter-generational relationships. But... There is a time and a place to speak/write/connect. It doesn't usually rebuild the relationship. If the timing, motive, and heartspace on both sides is right, it can "clear the air" and remove the wall of animosity... I know some who have done it with estranged spouses, half a lifetime later, and ended life "friendly" though not close. Sig... Don't project. Its dangerous. You do not know where he is at in side his own head/heart. You don't know if he cares - or not. You don't know if he carries your words in his heart. You may not know for a long time. But he was still "there"... he chose to be in your presence, and you chose to reach out. You did what you could when there was opportunity. Now? You couldn't write that letter and send it... the situation has changed. Only later will you ever know if there was some seed planted, some floor placed in his downward spiral, some rope with a knot in it that he will grab when he is ready. You didn't get the reaction you were looking for... he wasn't ready for that. But... it probably did matter and it probably does matter. {{hugs}} [/QUOTE]
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