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Letters to the Estranged
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 505045" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I sent many unanswered letters to my son, who I now call Former Son because he clearly doesn't want us in his life. We did FINALLY have a stilted meeting about six months ago after five years. He held ALL the letters against me and scanned them into his computer, telling me how they were abusive. Honestly, I have no idea HOW he could have thought my loving letters were abusive. Suffice to say it did nothing except push a Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) kid away, which was no biggie since he was already away. I have given up and decided that my pride is the last thing I have left. I will never write him another letter. He seriously does not want to have anything to do with us. Like your kids, he was adopted at an older age and I guess he never bonded, like we hoped he had. He told us, at our meeting, that he doesn't think about us much, doesn't miss us and has moved on. He asked that we not put his name on any legal documents nor make him responsible for anything in the family. He is quite rich so he requested he be disinherited. Okieeeeeeeee. I left the meeting feeling almost relieved. It was over. I do not know that this would happen with your kids. Just a warning because Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)...well, it's Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD).</p><p></p><p>One thing that the letters and eventual meeting did, which took place in his church with a family Christian counselor, was to give me real closure. I no longer hope he comes back or think about him too much. I realized it was hopeless and the closure was HUGE. It has been festering for five years and, even though the outcome wasn't good, at least I know now.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 505045, member: 1550"] I sent many unanswered letters to my son, who I now call Former Son because he clearly doesn't want us in his life. We did FINALLY have a stilted meeting about six months ago after five years. He held ALL the letters against me and scanned them into his computer, telling me how they were abusive. Honestly, I have no idea HOW he could have thought my loving letters were abusive. Suffice to say it did nothing except push a Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) kid away, which was no biggie since he was already away. I have given up and decided that my pride is the last thing I have left. I will never write him another letter. He seriously does not want to have anything to do with us. Like your kids, he was adopted at an older age and I guess he never bonded, like we hoped he had. He told us, at our meeting, that he doesn't think about us much, doesn't miss us and has moved on. He asked that we not put his name on any legal documents nor make him responsible for anything in the family. He is quite rich so he requested he be disinherited. Okieeeeeeeee. I left the meeting feeling almost relieved. It was over. I do not know that this would happen with your kids. Just a warning because Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)...well, it's Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). One thing that the letters and eventual meeting did, which took place in his church with a family Christian counselor, was to give me real closure. I no longer hope he comes back or think about him too much. I realized it was hopeless and the closure was HUGE. It has been festering for five years and, even though the outcome wasn't good, at least I know now. [/QUOTE]
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