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Letting Go of Outcome
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 653551" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>Good article.</p><p> </p><p>This was my favorite part:</p><p><strong><em>"If you instead let go of the need for any particular outcome, you increase your chances for success and contentment. It’s fine to desire a certain outcome; just don’t make your happiness contigent on it. Instead, derive happiness from knowing that you gave every attempt your best effort."</em></strong></p><p><strong><em></em></strong></p><p>Dealing with our Difficult Child is a process for sure. I look back over the past 20 years of dealing with my son and all the different stages of "process" I went through. For me getting to the point of acceptance was huge as that is what allowed me to live in the present. I stopped pinning my hopes and dreams on something that was not realistic.</p><p> </p><p>I understand where [USER=18848]@Rina[/USER] is coming from when she said </p><p> </p><p>I remeber those feelings all too well. I would drive myself crazy worrying and wondering, conjuring up all kinds of bad scenarios. It was through the process of just dealing with it all that one day I realized I had to accept the fact that anyone of the bad scenarios I had imagined could very well happen or not. I came to a place of acceptance. It was painful at first but I knew it was what I needed to do if I wanted to move beyond being stuck in the phase of endless worry.</p><p> </p><p>It was strange and slow at first because I was so used to going through my days with a knot in my stomach but as the days went on I felt the tension leaving my body. I started to do things for me, things that I used to enjoy but had stopped because I allowed my time to be consumed with worry.</p><p> </p><p>My son is still on a path of destruction but he has managed to survive. I don't hear from him on any regular basis and that's ok. He's living his life and I'm living mine. I will always love him and hope that someday we might have a closer relationship but I'm also ok if that never happens. I'm in my 50's and life is too short to stay stuck.</p><p> </p><p>I am grateful that I now have the capacity to live in the present moment, to cherish it.</p><p>I am grateful for this forum where we can all learn, share and grow.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 653551, member: 18516"] Good article. This was my favorite part: [B][I]"If you instead let go of the need for any particular outcome, you increase your chances for success and contentment. It’s fine to desire a certain outcome; just don’t make your happiness contigent on it. Instead, derive happiness from knowing that you gave every attempt your best effort." [/I][/B] Dealing with our Difficult Child is a process for sure. I look back over the past 20 years of dealing with my son and all the different stages of "process" I went through. For me getting to the point of acceptance was huge as that is what allowed me to live in the present. I stopped pinning my hopes and dreams on something that was not realistic. I understand where [USER=18848]@Rina[/USER] is coming from when she said I remeber those feelings all too well. I would drive myself crazy worrying and wondering, conjuring up all kinds of bad scenarios. It was through the process of just dealing with it all that one day I realized I had to accept the fact that anyone of the bad scenarios I had imagined could very well happen or not. I came to a place of acceptance. It was painful at first but I knew it was what I needed to do if I wanted to move beyond being stuck in the phase of endless worry. It was strange and slow at first because I was so used to going through my days with a knot in my stomach but as the days went on I felt the tension leaving my body. I started to do things for me, things that I used to enjoy but had stopped because I allowed my time to be consumed with worry. My son is still on a path of destruction but he has managed to survive. I don't hear from him on any regular basis and that's ok. He's living his life and I'm living mine. I will always love him and hope that someday we might have a closer relationship but I'm also ok if that never happens. I'm in my 50's and life is too short to stay stuck. I am grateful that I now have the capacity to live in the present moment, to cherish it. I am grateful for this forum where we can all learn, share and grow. [/QUOTE]
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