Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Lies
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 755627" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>I am going to suggest that it is unrealistic to expect grown age kids, especially wayward ones, to tell us where they are, who they are with and what they do. On the other hand, adult kids usually live away from home and pay their own bills, like phone and gym. As long as she lives with you, she will lie and you will feel violated for it. Why? Because you lovingly give her a home and pay some bills. I feel it is always best to help our beloved wayward children find other places to live. It doesn't seem to me to work well if they are home with us. Our expectations become higher than the ones they are willing to give us, which hurts us. </p><p></p><p>At least if they live elsewhere, we have the luxury of distance. To me that really helps us, if not them too. </p><p></p><p>No adult child wants to be under a parental microscope. Think of yourself at your daughter's age. My daughter would outright say "It's not your business!" Now we were paying a load for her, but she still did not feel she had to come clean, and she did not. On the plus side, she did live elsewhere but that was on our dime! I don't want you hurt like I was.</p><p></p><p>I do not have answers as to what you should do, only loving thoughts to share. You have to do what you feel is best. One burden I would take off my shoulders, if this were me, is expecting the truth from a child over 21. I learned to not even ask questions. But we did find ways to make sure that our daughter did not live with us. Not good ways, but ways....</p><p></p><p>Prayers and hugs. You can do this.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 755627, member: 23706"] I am going to suggest that it is unrealistic to expect grown age kids, especially wayward ones, to tell us where they are, who they are with and what they do. On the other hand, adult kids usually live away from home and pay their own bills, like phone and gym. As long as she lives with you, she will lie and you will feel violated for it. Why? Because you lovingly give her a home and pay some bills. I feel it is always best to help our beloved wayward children find other places to live. It doesn't seem to me to work well if they are home with us. Our expectations become higher than the ones they are willing to give us, which hurts us. At least if they live elsewhere, we have the luxury of distance. To me that really helps us, if not them too. No adult child wants to be under a parental microscope. Think of yourself at your daughter's age. My daughter would outright say "It's not your business!" Now we were paying a load for her, but she still did not feel she had to come clean, and she did not. On the plus side, she did live elsewhere but that was on our dime! I don't want you hurt like I was. I do not have answers as to what you should do, only loving thoughts to share. You have to do what you feel is best. One burden I would take off my shoulders, if this were me, is expecting the truth from a child over 21. I learned to not even ask questions. But we did find ways to make sure that our daughter did not live with us. Not good ways, but ways.... Prayers and hugs. You can do this. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Lies
Top