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Life has turned again...
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<blockquote data-quote="Nandina" data-source="post: 760500" data-attributes="member: 23742"><p>I agree that it probably wouldn’t last long if your son ended up living with the ex. Alcoholics are notoriously unreliable and it will just be a matter of time before the ex decides he doesn’t want that much responsibility or can’t handle it along with his drinking. But your ex’s unreliability/irresponsibility will impact your son and his behavior and actions. Are you able to talk to your ex at all? It seems one or several conversations would be in order regarding expectations, rules, etc. before attempting to let your son move there. Are you certain your ex would let him drink or wouldn’t have any rules? Or would he just be too out of it or absent to care?</p><p></p><p>How does your son handle rules in your own home? How does he treat you? Has the juvenile justice system ever been involved? Sorry for all the questions, Confused, but I’m just tying to get a better picture of what you might be up against and possible options.</p><p></p><p>If he did go to live with his dad and it was disastrous, ie. dad letting him drink or drug, no rules and son was becoming uncontrollable, since he is still a minor, I would think the court system could get involved. Sometimes that is what it takes. Then, they make the rules under which your son must comply, like possibly a curfew, etc. </p><p></p><p>I think there are resources out there for someone in your shoes, but it may include getting the legal system involved, and I don’t know how you feel about that. I had to do it as well as have many others here. Sometimes it’s the only way to get relief for a child who is at risk.</p><p></p><p>Many hugs</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nandina, post: 760500, member: 23742"] I agree that it probably wouldn’t last long if your son ended up living with the ex. Alcoholics are notoriously unreliable and it will just be a matter of time before the ex decides he doesn’t want that much responsibility or can’t handle it along with his drinking. But your ex’s unreliability/irresponsibility will impact your son and his behavior and actions. Are you able to talk to your ex at all? It seems one or several conversations would be in order regarding expectations, rules, etc. before attempting to let your son move there. Are you certain your ex would let him drink or wouldn’t have any rules? Or would he just be too out of it or absent to care? How does your son handle rules in your own home? How does he treat you? Has the juvenile justice system ever been involved? Sorry for all the questions, Confused, but I’m just tying to get a better picture of what you might be up against and possible options. If he did go to live with his dad and it was disastrous, ie. dad letting him drink or drug, no rules and son was becoming uncontrollable, since he is still a minor, I would think the court system could get involved. Sometimes that is what it takes. Then, they make the rules under which your son must comply, like possibly a curfew, etc. I think there are resources out there for someone in your shoes, but it may include getting the legal system involved, and I don’t know how you feel about that. I had to do it as well as have many others here. Sometimes it’s the only way to get relief for a child who is at risk. Many hugs [/QUOTE]
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